A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back the next day, from a downpour of rain outside that cooled my mind down. It felt like I put obstacles in front of myself just to trip over them, but this was at an end. If anything, I wanted Kara to be happy again. Maybe I could even reverse Tarne growing up inside Garr. Kara and Lila could head off into the other worlds with child Tarne, living on the run from the Rahin. I would be a decoy in that scenario, allowing the destruction of this space, which I knew was coming anyways. Waiting to die was a truly depressing way to live. Even after I promised Rebecca I would seek happiness. Part of me never trusted her, or rather the Rebecca on the computer screen who told me she went to talk to Alexander Virtu. It did not matter. Lila’s and Kara’s happiness was paramount. I appeared in the library out of a puff of smoke to find it empty. My antics were wasted. I walked up the stairs to see if Kara and Lila were still at Tarne’s bedside. When I reached the top step, the door to the ...

…everyone. Fyntn was by my side, looking depressed with his ears sagging to the floor. His eyes churned with gold, which dripped down and splashed on the floor, solidifying in a splash of that bright yellow precious metal. Lila was standing with Kara, hands clasped together looking up to the missing ceiling. Above was a wriggling dark, only illuminated by the light the library gave. “Why did you come back?” Fyntn asked. “I tried to save you. I tried to get you back to your world. Why did you come back, Jack?” I held his hand, watching a gold tear fall onto my hand and scorch it as the gold solidified before I could pry it off. The heat seared off the top layers of skin already, pulling like strings that would hurt in reality. I was only glad I could not feel this pain. “You didn’t answer my question,” I said, and shrugged with a smile. “That was stupid,” he said, but his mouth formed a subtle smile in response. “Tarne is—“ “Somewhere in there, right?” I asked, pointing to the wriggling...

It always starts with darkness, a voice calling out for something they need. I have called out for help at the start, and Finnelgamin arrived to that effect. The second time, I reached into the void fully aware that I should not. I stole. I removed an unfilled gem from there. How I managed to even reach it is beyond me, but that was Rebecca, a child of the void with a mind of her own, ready to be an idea of the void. Instead, she became an idea of me, for me, and tried to help me to the best of her abilities. When she realized that I had no intention of letting her see me and interact with all of me, she left, taking the world I created for her along. It begins with a knock. It’s a knock on the door of something without doors. No. I created a door in hopes of reconnecting to Rebecca. All I ended up with was a ladder up to a hatch to an emptiness left behind after the created world vanished, and a knock. That knock is terrifying. I am too afraid to open the doorway. I hope that it’s her...

Now at the new notebook, of shade green, I sat at my morning coffee pondering how I could best approach Rebecca’s space and talk to her rather than fight. I had this feeling that a duel was inevitable, a struggle between the two of us comparing who could better bend her space to their will. What could she do that I wasn’t prepared for? Did Crimmy, like beast, think up dark imagery of torture and torment for Rebecca? Time drew short before work, and if I was to be stuck in this space, this notebook, I’d have to resolve it quickly. With a sharp breath, I entered Rebecca’s space high above the neighborhood. She expanded the few houses to about thirty, and each had a light on while the sky was still dark. The realistic sun simulation mirrored my reality in darkness. I was without form, but thanks to the dumb child part of my mind, Rebecca was already aware that I was there. Hopefully, she had no idea where, but when the library house exploded, I knew that she was waiting there for me. It ...

The next day, I was back at the notebook with a wicked stomachache, and could only look back at what could have caused it. I even considered not showing up, but Rebecca would be upset after I’d already made plans to be here. As such, I was at the notebook, but not yet in the library. Thanks to JJ’s idea, Rebecca was notified when I entered, but my original idea was to be there unseen, to see how she acted when I wasn’t around. The problem was the childish and pure mind of JJ, but I was glad that Rebecca didn’t turn into my own personal porn channel. I had a feeling beast would one day hijack my mind and make her encounter an intense amount of sexual situations. In this manner, Redbecca took care of his desires. He stirred at the thought, and I entered the library for a dose of crotch-to-face upload. but Rebecca wasn’t there. Only Mr. Barcode sat on the desk in a strange position. His arms were bent to degrees humans could not achieve. I was about to speak, but Barc readjusted himself ...