A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

All my touting of trust over Moredo, and I had not been back in months. I was afraid of what I would find. If I trusted Fyntn, I would have gone back the next day. Meanwhile, I entertained myself with a story of a girl in a world ruined by the past, dreaming. I came back the morning of a Wednesday, after being woken up at five in the morning by someone calling out my name. It had to be a dream, someone from the library I left behind. I could not foretell what to expect now, but I would most definitely not be in female form. I just hoped Tarne was back to her previous self. I stepped into the untethered space, or my tether of reality core to the library. It looked just like when I left it, except for the darkness beyond the windows again. I partially missed the gray. The library itself was empty, almost heartrendingly so. What if, in my time away, the Rahin actually came for Lila and Tarne? “Hello?” I called out, realizing my voice was male. I created a full body mirror right away and f...

Two days later, I came back feeling bad about how I left. I had moments like these with Finn and Rebecca, but they were not… real? There was no proof that Lila was real either, but could I really invent a whole society with different bodies that looked human enough. Rebecca and Finn were both humans, at least at the start. I was not sure what Lila was. The library was empty. I also looked through the garden, and scanned the outside with creationism, bright lights bursting in all directions of the dark. No matter how much light went into the endless, the only parts that illuminated were the invisible vines that allowed my creationism. I imagined that the vines were veins instead and let the light fill them to the brim. As the brightly glowing gas expanded further and further in that dark, I created an endless lift to push me outside the cluster so I could see how far it reached. The further the panel of metal took me, the more contrast I saw of vines and darkness, until the gas reached ...

“Hey,” I said appearing in the wooden enclosure. “You’re late,” Lila said. “Two days late.” “Yeah, I’m sorry,” I said. “It’s been a bit difficult to sleep lately with the heat. The situation in the city I live in is draining, but there was a nice thunderstorm last night that gave way to some cooling.” She was sitting on the couch in her child body, making me wonder whether the teen one was a way to cope. “How do you know about Faust?” She asked. “WHAT do you know about him?” I changed my view to see the transparent vines fill up the room. She was unaware of them, but they gave me power I once had with Rebecca. “Nothing,” I said. “You were mumbling out in the dark. Something about deserving being here? Wanna talk about that?” She looked away while pulling her legs up onto the green couch. “Not really,” she said, but I had a feeling she would anyway. “He was a friend back in my world.” “Was?” “We were playing around in this place adults tell us not to. Like an abandoned factory. It’s har...

“Hey,” I said, appearing weeks later past the fumbling of the device update and a mishap of a keyboard messing up quotations. The first part took an hour, while the keyboard took just ten minutes. I had been avoiding coming back, but did not prepare an excuse for being away. Lila sat in the corner of the room, eyes closed. For a moment, I thought she was sleeping, but when I came up to her, she leapt into the air and pushed off my back as I turned in recoil to land gracefully on the table of the room. “You’re late,” she said. “I’ve been doing some mental exercises. Without new stories to entertain me, the sentence feels like a real downer.” “Isn’t it supposed to feel like that?” I asked. “And that’s the first time you used the word 'sentence' to describe it. Anything you want to fess up to?” I studied her child form as it aged to a woman. She bunched up her shirt to reveal the triangle opening positioned perfectly over her lower back where the branched spine opened up. Her type...