A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

My grandma always told me of the blue skies before the time of the storms. “The blue just went on and on,” she said. “Half of what you saw was blue all day, sometimes spotted with white with clouds. It felt endless, until it wasn’t.” “Why did the storms start?” “We took the world for granted,” Grandma said. “At least those who were in charge did.” “Just a few did this to everyone?” I asked. “Why?” “That was the way of the world before the storms,” she said. “People looked out for themselves, while the world was dying. Since lightning is dangerous for everyone, it brought us together again.” “I would have loved to see the sky, just like it was before,” I said, closing my eyes to imagine. Grandma leaned over to kiss me on my forehead. “Blue dreams, my angel,” she said. It made me smile. And so blue dreams found me that night. I stood at the peak of a mountain, high above the dark lightning clouds. The sky absorbed most of what I could see, feeling almost endless. I woke up with the start...

I have been reluctant to come back for obvious reasons. Lila wanted me to talk about myself, give a recount of my life so far, however little of it was lived. I feared it. Much like with letting Finnelgamin know all the things in my head and be vocal about it, and letting Rebecca in to know me as I was in my reality, this was another instance of keeping things secret from someone I… No. I did not create her. I created the world that was connected to that spawn chamber. Lila was there already, put there from her world. I was still curious about the details. Maybe I could distract her with questions about her life instead. “Hey, Lila,” I said, at the top stair of the spiral opening to the bottom room. She was on the couch in the library, sitting in reverse. Her legs were slung over the top of the backrest, while her head hung upside down where the legs would bend at the knees. Her hands stretched out to the ceiling of the library. It took me a minute to realize what she was doing. Her ey...