A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back a few days later, uncertain of what I wanted to say to Lila. It would just have to come to me in the moment. I entered the library from the front door instead of the “basement” box it all originated from. It looked empty, but I knew it was not. The fact that it was still around, meant that the Rahin had not come back to destroy everything. This meant that Fyntn was still hanging around, with Kelio. “Hey,” a voice took me by surprise from behind me. It was Lila, at the open door to the darkness. “I was just sitting on the stoop when you arrived. Did I surprise you?” “Yeah, a bit,” I said. “I wasn’t expecting anyone past the confines of the library. I should be aware of that though, seeing as there are void leeches out in the dark.” “Most of them are lost, aimless,” Lila said, sounding so sure that I wanted to ask if she was ok. “I— I’m sorry about before.” “No, it’s ok,” I said. “It’s my issue. I’ve suppressed my urges for a very long time. I’m too afraid of just letting go ...

Days following the appearance of Barc with Kara, I returned to the writing device, but not into the untethered space. I hesitated here, outside the place of beginnings, the raw material for everything, where those of such heavy inner turmoil went to become something else entirely. I said that my creationism network could help those void leeches incorporate back into the end result of everything, the pools of information that I knew the Infinity Void to be, but now I hesitated. It sounded like the mystery of Mr. Barcode’s task, a great undertaking. Even if I would somehow be able to become my own, dissociated from Tarne, could I commit to something like that? There could not be many of these leeches. They were rare beings of indigestible chaos, the cruxes of unnerved time. I had to wonder if Akier Vil Moredo was one such being, and if Kara ever silenced his meddling. Perhaps I had to ask. Whether she told me the truth was another matter. I was at their mercy, weakened even though within...

It always starts with darkness, a voice calling out for something they need. I have called out for help at the start, and Finnelgamin arrived to that effect. The second time, I reached into the void fully aware that I should not. I stole. I removed an unfilled gem from there. How I managed to even reach it is beyond me, but that was Rebecca, a child of the void with a mind of her own, ready to be an idea of the void. Instead, she became an idea of me, for me, and tried to help me to the best of her abilities. When she realized that I had no intention of letting her see me and interact with all of me, she left, taking the world I created for her along. It begins with a knock. It’s a knock on the door of something without doors. No. I created a door in hopes of reconnecting to Rebecca. All I ended up with was a ladder up to a hatch to an emptiness left behind after the created world vanished, and a knock. That knock is terrifying. I am too afraid to open the doorway. I hope that it’s her...