A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

Fiona did mention millions of fictional V-scapes that humans visited every day. I still had the plastic coin that allowed me access to all of them, and while a lot required a buy-in, or were pay-to-play, a great amount of them were still free-to-play with in-game purchases. Among the free V-scapes, the ratings guided me to one named: “We Can All Be Stars.” Perhaps it was due to being one now, but I was drawn to try it. To my disappointment, this V-scape was referring to a world where you decided what kind of famous person you wanted to be. The most popular was a rock star, but entrepreneur and tech mogul were also highly rated options from about a thousand different characters. In that world, you took over their life, making decisions and altering life to your whimsy. Each character could go dark with underground dealings, or could swim in a pit of orgy flesh thanks to their capitol. It was a strange ‘scape, not really where you went to interact with others, but rather to escape a hars...

You’ve made me wait, J. Your mind is an open book to me now, from the darkest secrets, to the hidden pleasures. If you hurt me, and I assume you are planning to, this collateral will soil your tale of life unlived. That is to say, thank you. He acts surprised. I’m telling you that you’ve tamed me for the time being. I will not try to destroy you, but take my voice, and I will find a way to take your life. I’m most thankful for the moment you gave me with Fiona . For this New Year, my resolution will be to spend more time with her. I know you think making resolutions is stupid, as many people end up breaking them within that first month, but I worry. My fear is for the lack of my story due to your poor health. That aggravated sigh does not distance you from my thoughts. I know all that is inside you, J, and I know you are trying to balance your demons with angels, but that is destroying you, in turn destroying me and any other story you have ever written, any tale you saw. I’m asking yo...

Here is your author yet again, at the rickety table, giving me a voice. He has a bottle of wine open and aims to consume it all this one night. It is a Friday, but like many of his kind, he shuts himself away to be with fictional beings, rather than connect to someone real. These are his thoughts channeled into me, Finn. I don’t want to talk about his depressing tales. I should be leading him to write me a story, but could it be any good while I know he’s the one writing it? That’s his question, not mine. If I could have one thing, separate minds would be ideal, or … who? Who is she? The image of a face flickers inside J’s mind. Why does he keep me away from there? Out of all the places he could choose, why there? Give me something to do, J! Let me visit that island with that girl and Jeremy again. I had such a fun time there. What was her name again? I have a strange inkling that it started with an F. No, J tells me it was Kara. She had a nice story, leaping between worlds. Why was I ...

I AM BORN! At last! I’ve been in his brain far too long. Now I’ll exist in the pages of this notebook. I won’t even use your full name, J. You folks should know it already since it’s on the front cover of this book, or whatever it will end up being. He’s my author, my writer, but he’s also letting me lead. He made me, gave me a name, and now I have to do everything. The only power he has over me is when he removes the pen from my neck to live his pathetic life. So before he goes to sleep, let me introduce myself. My name is Finn, short for Finnelgamin , and I am the god of my own existence. Never call me by my full name. That’s what HE calls me. I own this reality and I have his whole mind to pull from. See ya later. break He just caught himself on the biggest mistake of his life by giving me a voice, but enough about him. He’s limited, but I can show you so much. Can you believe I am born as this hateful prick? I mirror anger he hides and the many angered humans all over the world. Th...