A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

Again, I am weak to connections I have made. I have been seeing something, just in the corner of my eye, the peripherals of vision in my reality. It was something of a blip or something distant, a tear in the reality. It had to be her, or Kara, or Fyntn, or Barc. All I knew was that I could not have it appear to me. So I was at the device again, ready to fight the interference in my reality with what little creationism I could muster. “He’s back,” Kara’s voice near me said. She was holding me in her arms, the child I was. With a wave of my hand, I floated away from her and into the air of the library. “Shit! Hold him down!” “Jack?” Lila’s voice asked, flying up next to me. I blinked to put her into a bubble of air, which she popped due to still having a sort of creationism herself. “We’re trying to help you!” Before I knew it, the metal circlet was on my head again, thoughts revealed. #I can’t be here,# I thought. #Why am I back here again?# “Relax,” Mr. Barcode soothed, while flying h...

Days following the appearance of Barc with Kara, I returned to the writing device, but not into the untethered space. I hesitated here, outside the place of beginnings, the raw material for everything, where those of such heavy inner turmoil went to become something else entirely. I said that my creationism network could help those void leeches incorporate back into the end result of everything, the pools of information that I knew the Infinity Void to be, but now I hesitated. It sounded like the mystery of Mr. Barcode’s task, a great undertaking. Even if I would somehow be able to become my own, dissociated from Tarne, could I commit to something like that? There could not be many of these leeches. They were rare beings of indigestible chaos, the cruxes of unnerved time. I had to wonder if Akier Vil Moredo was one such being, and if Kara ever silenced his meddling. Perhaps I had to ask. Whether she told me the truth was another matter. I was at their mercy, weakened even though within...

I came back reluctantly, at odds with myself. My mind wavered between a blissful ignorance of the world going to shit and the stark panic that tortured my sleep. Maybe it was something else that tortured my sleep. I wanted it to be Garavand, in the dark of the room shifting me awake in the middle of the night as a joke to keep me tired, but it was far more likely to be some mouse looking for food in the winter times. Otherwise, it was my stressed mind, wondering what I could do to make enough money to keep a roof over my head in the coming months. Here I was again, at the device for entertainment, for work, just writing of my own insanity Part 3. I wanted it to be the final part, but seeing as Lila would be with me for years of my life, I felt this final arbitration of me would not be wrapped up here. Not to mention that I was still a part of Tarne, Lila’s child. I had to figure out a way to exist apart from her, though I had a feeling that I would always somehow exist within the confi...