A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back after a weekend, half-spent working overtime, and the other half spent recuperating from the work week. The library was the same as I always remembered it from Tiarto’s exploits. It was much different than the library it was based on, but the bones were based in reality. The real one had no tall ceilings, no high windows, no staircase to the second floor, only three entrances that served as front door, garden, and kitchen now. The bathroom was upstairs, but the original one had none, being just an open space with books. “Lila!” I called out in the open space, and heard some shuffling about upstairs. I wondered whether I should go up and check, but I could have just interrupted something between her and Kara. Lila stepped out of the room wearing nothing but a white button down shirt. It was something akin to just wearing underwear for her, as the muscle between her legs had no openings. I wanted to know more about her anatomy and how everything worked, but then remembered sh...

It had been months since I had been back. There was no reason to bother them. I wished Kara, Tarne, and Lila all the best. Although on bad days, I had come to dislike the way things ended up. It was not to the point of screwing things up for them. It would not change anything. Kara would just whisk them away to some other world to live peacefully together. I was the big bad in the story. It was ridiculous. Lila was the AI of an abused little girl who went on to destroy her world and universe in the pursuit of all those offenders, and yet somehow I was the one who ended up seeking unreasonable things. When Finn was here… When Rebecca was here… I let those thoughts drift back to destruction of the laptop filled with memories of her, only realizing now that all the stories Lila wrote out were in there as well. I did not know how I could get back to that feeling, the happiness of letting go. My heart cried out for her to be here again, to the point of hanging out in the wooden box in the d...

Two days later, I came back feeling bad about how I left. I had moments like these with Finn and Rebecca, but they were not… real? There was no proof that Lila was real either, but could I really invent a whole society with different bodies that looked human enough. Rebecca and Finn were both humans, at least at the start. I was not sure what Lila was. The library was empty. I also looked through the garden, and scanned the outside with creationism, bright lights bursting in all directions of the dark. No matter how much light went into the endless, the only parts that illuminated were the invisible vines that allowed my creationism. I imagined that the vines were veins instead and let the light fill them to the brim. As the brightly glowing gas expanded further and further in that dark, I created an endless lift to push me outside the cluster so I could see how far it reached. The further the panel of metal took me, the more contrast I saw of vines and darkness, until the gas reached ...

I came back the next day, the evening hours of Sunday in the first week of April. Lila was in the library, setting up some sort of circle on the wooden floor that had something of an alchemy or sorcery feel to it by scratching it into the the floor. I had to wonder where she got the idea for it, as none of the stories I gave her had that sort of theme. At least the parts I gave her had nothing of it. No, it might have been Faelight . The old and forgotten magic that had not been used must have resurfaced later in the story. “Hey,” I said. Lila turned from the line she was carving, and jumped into the air like some fort of ninja or acrobat. “Oh, it’s just you, Jack,” she said, lowering the knife in her hand. “Thought it was him again.” “Again?” I asked. “Did the guy from the untethered space try to come in here or something?” “He WAS in here,” Lila said, standing up while tossing the knife spinning into the air. Her other hand caught the handle from the air gracefully. “The library is k...

The next time I entered the library was on Monday morning at coffee. The place was empty, but Rebecca was sure to arrive when she felt that tingle. I’d been toying with an idea ever since the day before. While I couldn’t bring beast into her space, nothing stopped me from letting JJ run free. He’d have the same power as me in this space, but the freedom to express himself rather than suffocate at the back of my mind. I felt my mind drift off for a second. It demanded more caffeine after a short rest from Sunday. I’d have to pick that idea up later. I scribbled a message for Rebecca in the air and left. break I returned after work on that Monday to find Rebecca reading. She looked up for a moment and scanned for me, but I remained invisible. Before I made a form, I wanted to spy on the few in this space that I could. I found them at Eva’s place who returned to her routine as if Finnelgamin never existed, but when I appeared before them, the sight knocked her into a tangent of memory. ...