A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back the next day, looking into the untethered space now gray before entering. It extended as far as I could see, and felt endless. I was sure what I created here was a tiny blip within the whole of raw existence. It was impossible to change the space because it was the building material for everything that ended up in the Infinity Void. What I made here was a tumor. I burst forth my reality core, ballooning it as far as it could go within the darkness. I've had enough of the darkness. I entered the library to a fanfare, a vibration of air with sound. It felt as though it was bellowed by a giant horn somewhere. I touched down on the floor of the library, welcomed by Lila. She ran up and jumped into my arms, almost comically. Tarne came over to put her hand on my shoulder. Kara remained at the desk. “Hey,” I said, sounding strangely feminine. I inspected my body to find myself still female as before. I looked up with an excited grin. “I’m still a woman.” “Yeah,” Kara said. “A...

I came back a few days later to the same feeling of warm comfort I hoped it still was. Having become comfortable in another gathering of people, I just disconnected from them again. It had to happen. Both JJ and beast started bleeding through. While an imaginative kid could use some friends, beast was not someone that deserved to exist around others. Just like before, I would miss those few I grew fond of, but they were better off not knowing me. The warmth I felt around me was also wet. With that in mind, I could only assume I was in a womb. If this was Lila’s womb, I had no idea what the birth would look like as that part of her being’s life cycle was not known to me. I knew two things other than this: that I could not see, and that I had no way of editing my predicament. Whatever this was, I would have to let it play out. In a strange way, I did not want to leave this comfortable embrace of warm wetness. It was like a sensory deprivation chamber, only you did not float in water, but...

 Of the Explorer from another world Tina is a human being, leading a life of little import among her kind. One things she excels at is folding paper into all manner of shapes. After her fourteenth birthday goes uncelebrated, due to both her parents being busy, she seeks to make some friends in the city she lives thanks to her elusive parents. Tina isn’t a brave girl, having to learn all her lessons from the fact that her parents weren’t there for her, and the woman who was taking care of her already passed away. Tina decides to fold a world for herself, somewhere where she would be regarded as someone important, or at least regarded. She starts with a giant modular piece and names it Modul, the planet of living origami models in the imagined Paper Universe. She decides to fold paper people to populate Modul and soon falls asleep beside the giant modular world. When she wakes, Tina can see a model in her hand, a black unicorn, but has no idea when she folded it, or how to fold one ...

How does one describe the fears of all who reside in the light? Do you not call it darkness? If that is your answer, then I am the entity you call darkness, alive somehow. I know not myself how I survive, but I see, I smell, I feel, I hear, and I taste, just as you do. The cold does not bother me, while you, it kills. That is why you light fires, while I cling to the shadows. You're weak. I'm strong. You tell stories of me, such horrible nightmarish tales, but I cannot say they are untrue. Your fellow humans look to the dark as a thrill, and it is from there where I strike. They scream and cry, but in the end all is silent. This is not about survival. The dark is my domain, my home, I defend it. There is another name that humans call me, a name devised by them of no understandable origin, but I enjoy it. I am a Garavand. I listen to them, to you, humans. The shadows hug me, hide me. So many stories of you are created right before me. I watch the darkness within these humans ...

I’d been back to the laptop in my mind a few times since I last wrote here. There was nothing to record. I asked the piece of tech to help me, and the only response I got from Rebecca was to read her story. Whether this was her way of being known to you, or if she wrote the story with my betterment in mind, I had no clue. Don’t expect to create something, or someone, that will fix who you are. This could just be a lone author on verge of self-harm talking. Pay no attention to my ramblings. Rebecca is the star here, the key, and I’ll soon fade away whereas she will live eternal within you. With that in mind, it’s best that I continue her story. The pages of this notebook are drawing short. alter “You were trying to feed on me?” I asked of the Tisyros who no longer looked like Rassot. “How did you know you even could?” The now young woman pulled out a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses and made them glow pink. “I can see it,” she said, flexing into an older version of that same girl. I ...