A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I had been trying really hard to have something else going on during my nights, to avoid coming back there again. I had no control over my body, no freedom of creationism I often escaped into. I was no longer a god of a tiny universe left behind following Rebecca’s escape. Whenever I came back now, I would be a passenger to the child named Tarne, a girl that I wanted to be deep down. Maybe that kept me coming back, the possibility to feel that I was born correctly. In reality, I bought female yoga underwear, and whenever I felt I deserved to, I would clean my body with perfumed soap and wear the pink softness. They were a prize I have not felt worthy of lately. I kept them sealed in an airtight plastic bag to keep brand new and fresh. I knew if they somehow got dirty, I could not possibly bring them to the laundry. They lived one life for a person hidden away within a fake world inside his head. I arrived as Tarne again to a sight I did not expect. Lila was entirely naked, legs spread ...

The next day at coffee, I visited the spawn chamber again. Though some parts of the story remained untold, I was not interested in telling them. Her story ended, however vaguely. I wanted to know what they talked about at the meeting of all the beings in Rebecca’s universe. I wondered just how many of the video messages she left for me, but the laptop was an immortal object of the room, like the size of it and place in space. The best course of action was to call out phrases and words that might trigger those video messages. This made me wonder if Rebecca, or more possibly Crimmy, recorded any sexual videos for me. It had to have crossed her mind, though I chose to try something else first. “Did you leave because you were angry at me?” I asked, but nothing played. Maybe that was too complex. “You left.” With that, she appeared on the screen alone with a serious look. “I know you’ll try to blame yourself for my departure, but stop being so selfish,” she said. “It wasn’t Finn’s idea or...