A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back the next day, feeling horrible for promising a child that I could do something that was probably beyond my power. Part of this that I reread recently lit up in my head with Lila remarking that nothing was impossible in your mind, but this was a little bit beyond my mind now. I was only connected to somewhere I was not supposed to be. I wondered what the Rahin decided, or if that already occurred. It was hard to keep track of the events that happened since that first knock on the wooden box below the library. I stepped into the very box this time, instead of the library. It was just as I left it, minus the laptop with Rebecca’s record. Parts of her story didn’t even make it out to her story, and I was fine with that. A lot of that story already was not fit for standard human consumption. It would get edited to all hell, reduced to the gist of an idea, but that was likely to happen to this last installment of the mind, coming apart. I sat on the green couch for a moment and r...

I came back a few days following the dragon expedition. When I ascended the spiral staircase from the old room, Lila was the first thing I saw. She was on the couch, hunched over, elbows on knees, head cradled in the cup made up of her hands. “Hey,” I said. She did not shift at my voice, which felt strange. When I came up, she was motionless. I hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder, and watched as her body crumbled into sand before my eyes. Was this the Rahin’s doing? Did I somehow bring them over with me when I teleported from dragon form? I sat down on the couch in shock. “Jack,” I heard a familiar voice, and turned to find Lila, very much alive. She sat down on the couch, then threw her legs over my lap to recline. “Holy crap, I thought they erased you or something,” I said. “My bad,” she said. “I’ve been leaving these stress remnants everywhere. Let me guess, you guys don’t have stress remnants in your reality.” “No idea what those are,” I said. “Like, when you are feeling stressed...

I have been reluctant to come back for obvious reasons. Lila wanted me to talk about myself, give a recount of my life so far, however little of it was lived. I feared it. Much like with letting Finnelgamin know all the things in my head and be vocal about it, and letting Rebecca in to know me as I was in my reality, this was another instance of keeping things secret from someone I… No. I did not create her. I created the world that was connected to that spawn chamber. Lila was there already, put there from her world. I was still curious about the details. Maybe I could distract her with questions about her life instead. “Hey, Lila,” I said, at the top stair of the spiral opening to the bottom room. She was on the couch in the library, sitting in reverse. Her legs were slung over the top of the backrest, while her head hung upside down where the legs would bend at the knees. Her hands stretched out to the ceiling of the library. It took me a minute to realize what she was doing. Her ey...