A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back to the library after a few days of stress about moving. I would have to move again soon enough, but the temporary respite was welcome. The first thing I saw inside was Tarne, sitting at the desk in the open space with a book in her hands. I scanned around before coming up to her, but Lila and Kara were not around. “Hey, Tea,” I said. She held up a finger for a moment of silence, then slipped a divider into the section of the book where she was, and closed it with a heavy slam. I wondered what she was reading, and questioned whether I put my stories back into the library, or if Lila did. She could probably recall them from memory after the library got shattered to pieces. I did still worry about those books and where they ended up. “Jack!” She said, and jumped across the desk with hands in a loop. The arms caught my neck like a ring tossed onto a hook. From there, her hands split apart for just a moment as she floated slowly down thanks to creationism into a hug. I smiled, a...

I came back the next day, from a downpour of rain outside that cooled my mind down. It felt like I put obstacles in front of myself just to trip over them, but this was at an end. If anything, I wanted Kara to be happy again. Maybe I could even reverse Tarne growing up inside Garr. Kara and Lila could head off into the other worlds with child Tarne, living on the run from the Rahin. I would be a decoy in that scenario, allowing the destruction of this space, which I knew was coming anyways. Waiting to die was a truly depressing way to live. Even after I promised Rebecca I would seek happiness. Part of me never trusted her, or rather the Rebecca on the computer screen who told me she went to talk to Alexander Virtu. It did not matter. Lila’s and Kara’s happiness was paramount. I appeared in the library out of a puff of smoke to find it empty. My antics were wasted. I walked up the stairs to see if Kara and Lila were still at Tarne’s bedside. When I reached the top step, the door to the ...

I came back the next day, looking into the untethered space now gray before entering. It extended as far as I could see, and felt endless. I was sure what I created here was a tiny blip within the whole of raw existence. It was impossible to change the space because it was the building material for everything that ended up in the Infinity Void. What I made here was a tumor. I burst forth my reality core, ballooning it as far as it could go within the darkness. I've had enough of the darkness. I entered the library to a fanfare, a vibration of air with sound. It felt as though it was bellowed by a giant horn somewhere. I touched down on the floor of the library, welcomed by Lila. She ran up and jumped into my arms, almost comically. Tarne came over to put her hand on my shoulder. Kara remained at the desk. “Hey,” I said, sounding strangely feminine. I inspected my body to find myself still female as before. I looked up with an excited grin. “I’m still a woman.” “Yeah,” Kara said. “A...

I came back a few days following the dragon expedition. When I ascended the spiral staircase from the old room, Lila was the first thing I saw. She was on the couch, hunched over, elbows on knees, head cradled in the cup made up of her hands. “Hey,” I said. She did not shift at my voice, which felt strange. When I came up, she was motionless. I hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder, and watched as her body crumbled into sand before my eyes. Was this the Rahin’s doing? Did I somehow bring them over with me when I teleported from dragon form? I sat down on the couch in shock. “Jack,” I heard a familiar voice, and turned to find Lila, very much alive. She sat down on the couch, then threw her legs over my lap to recline. “Holy crap, I thought they erased you or something,” I said. “My bad,” she said. “I’ve been leaving these stress remnants everywhere. Let me guess, you guys don’t have stress remnants in your reality.” “No idea what those are,” I said. “Like, when you are feeling stressed...

I came back a few days later, after trying to keep my attention on other things. Knowing more proved to be a step into madness I was not prepared for. Ideas still stopped by from the Infinity Void, most as I was trying to sleep. Some were X-rated, themed to the various stimuli I encountered on a daily basis. Others were stories that I would have liked to delve into, had I not been torn apart into other things from music to worrying about my future and the futility of my dreams in the changing world of a global pandemic. “Hello?” I asked in the emptiness of the library. The space was too big for just one person, even for two unless they had a lot on their minds. In reality this space was the common area of a library for a whole slew of students. While there, I read books of many stories I have now forgotten, though moments of romance and sexuality of them all remained seared to the back of my skull. One particular description of a girl masturbating excited me the most, as I marveled how...