A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

“Hey,” I said the next night into the library. Lila was sprawled out on top of a bookshelf, these no longer filled with lessons of my life. They looked empty without books, but it was now the digital age, and the stories remained on the laptop downstairs. “Oh, hey,” Lila sat up on the bookshelf, legs hanging off each side. “You’re back like you said. I didn’t expect you to be here the next day.” “I feel a strange need to apologize to you,” I said. “But don’t,” she replied, lifted her leg over to join the other and jumped off the height to land gracefully. “I did what I wanted to do.” “Even without beast rattling around inside me, I took advantage,” I said. “It’s fine,” she said. “And let me know if you’d even feel like trying it in the female form.” I tried to picture it, rubbing our backs together at random. Then I tried to picture how a human female and Lila could engage in sex, much to confusion. There would be a lot to figure out before it could be pleasurable. “I was wondering if ...

I have been reluctant to come back for obvious reasons. Lila wanted me to talk about myself, give a recount of my life so far, however little of it was lived. I feared it. Much like with letting Finnelgamin know all the things in my head and be vocal about it, and letting Rebecca in to know me as I was in my reality, this was another instance of keeping things secret from someone I… No. I did not create her. I created the world that was connected to that spawn chamber. Lila was there already, put there from her world. I was still curious about the details. Maybe I could distract her with questions about her life instead. “Hey, Lila,” I said, at the top stair of the spiral opening to the bottom room. She was on the couch in the library, sitting in reverse. Her legs were slung over the top of the backrest, while her head hung upside down where the legs would bend at the knees. Her hands stretched out to the ceiling of the library. It took me a minute to realize what she was doing. Her ey...

What are you playing at? Are you trying to collide your reality with the story? Was this your plan all along? “I’m testing a theory,” he says. “All it needed was planting a part of myself in the story. Scary, isn’t it? The mysterious JJ hides under a flawless invisible shroud within your mind. Even this pup of darkness fears me.” Won’t it mess up the story? He smirks. “Do you think I’d let it?” He asks in answer. From somewhere in his own memory, I hear a deduction. An answer in the form of a question suggests the person is hiding the truth. “Ok, enough chit-chat. Shroud back on.” alter “Yeah…” I said. Ernie took a large gulp of beer. “Just bothers me a bit.” “I’ve got like twenty things that are bothering me right now, man,” he said, putting the bottle to his lips again. The remaining contents drained in a few seconds. “Like, where is my garem? How do I become a full Garavand ? Or why can’t I connect to my own kind at all? There is this thing called the Dream Vestibule , but I can’t ...