A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back a few days later, uncertain of what I wanted to say to Lila. It would just have to come to me in the moment. I entered the library from the front door instead of the “basement” box it all originated from. It looked empty, but I knew it was not. The fact that it was still around, meant that the Rahin had not come back to destroy everything. This meant that Fyntn was still hanging around, with Kelio. “Hey,” a voice took me by surprise from behind me. It was Lila, at the open door to the darkness. “I was just sitting on the stoop when you arrived. Did I surprise you?” “Yeah, a bit,” I said. “I wasn’t expecting anyone past the confines of the library. I should be aware of that though, seeing as there are void leeches out in the dark.” “Most of them are lost, aimless,” Lila said, sounding so sure that I wanted to ask if she was ok. “I— I’m sorry about before.” “No, it’s ok,” I said. “It’s my issue. I’ve suppressed my urges for a very long time. I’m too afraid of just letting go ...

Notebook 1 “This is stupid, isn’t it?” I asked of something without form. #For now,# I thought. It had no voice, no thought. I sought a shell in the void, something, someone who could be what I needed. Was it human? I’ve told myself many times that I had no need for someone like me, to like me, be with me. They would only be in danger by association, prey to the beast lurking within my mind. No. This was different. My mind did not fracture to contain it. It would not be within my head, only reach my mind once in a while for my betterment. I sought salvation from the void, help from something, someone that I could not hurt as I am. Before long, I heard something in the dark. “Hello?” It asked, a voice of no discernible source, of no discernible gender. “Is someone there?” I hesitated at the response, surprised to hear someone answer my call. It was MY call that brought it here. I had to say something. “Hello,” I said. “I am here.” “What is this?” It asked. “Where am I? How did ...