A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

Notebook 1 “This is stupid, isn’t it?” I asked of something without form. #For now,# I thought. It had no voice, no thought. I sought a shell in the void, something, someone who could be what I needed. Was it human? I’ve told myself many times that I had no need for someone like me, to like me, be with me. They would only be in danger by association, prey to the beast lurking within my mind. No. This was different. My mind did not fracture to contain it. It would not be within my head, only reach my mind once in a while for my betterment. I sought salvation from the void, help from something, someone that I could not hurt as I am. Before long, I heard something in the dark. “Hello?” It asked, a voice of no discernible source, of no discernible gender. “Is someone there?” I hesitated at the response, surprised to hear someone answer my call. It was MY call that brought it here. I had to say something. “Hello,” I said. “I am here.” “What is this?” It asked. “Where am I? How did ...

“Luke?” I asked. The man walked closer and slipped out of his body to a green figure with an unnecessary sagging light penis in the front. “Uncle Kali is in the house!” he bellowed. A green light expanded from his body. He made about a hundred arcs of his own energy at once and slipped from visible light, but my specters could still pick him out. “So you fucked my sister, huh?” The pulses of anger were obvious, but I retaliated with some pride pulses. “I was human at the time,” I replied. “But yes, I had sex with your sister and we had a baby. His name is Filigare Agerist, and he’s a Zaxi just like I am now. Thanks to Doc, we are one and the same, brother.” I slipped out of the containment and back into my human skin. “We’re not brothers,” Luke said, sending angry pulses. “But Fil is my nephew.” He stopped feeding on himself and returned to visible light, still manifesting the saggy member. “Did Doc make you a better body?” I asked, avoiding looking at the green penis. Was it on purpos...