A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

For fear of my words getting lost to the current status of my habitation, I employed my old way of writing, by means of storage USB with all my past stories, and those who would one day come to be. I had to delve into one of their minds tonight. Tarne could not be set aside any longer. I stepped into the library expecting another giant contraption of orange tracks, only to find Tarne playing by herself with JJ nowhere in sight. She was skipping on the wooden floor of many different hues, trying to only land on the lightest ones. “Hey,” I said, making her land on one foot, and tumble over to the couch. “Sorry. Where’s JJ?” “He didn’t want to play with me anymore,” Tarne said. “He’s very childish.” I smiled. “He is a child, Tea.” “I’m a child, TOO,” she continued. “But he’s a really petty little brat. We played his game for a bit, with a bunch of action elements. When he got tired, I made us some snacks and drinks, and asked if I can choose the next game. At first he was ok with it, but ...

I came back the next day, feeling horrible for promising a child that I could do something that was probably beyond my power. Part of this that I reread recently lit up in my head with Lila remarking that nothing was impossible in your mind, but this was a little bit beyond my mind now. I was only connected to somewhere I was not supposed to be. I wondered what the Rahin decided, or if that already occurred. It was hard to keep track of the events that happened since that first knock on the wooden box below the library. I stepped into the very box this time, instead of the library. It was just as I left it, minus the laptop with Rebecca’s record. Parts of her story didn’t even make it out to her story, and I was fine with that. A lot of that story already was not fit for standard human consumption. It would get edited to all hell, reduced to the gist of an idea, but that was likely to happen to this last installment of the mind, coming apart. I sat on the green couch for a moment and r...

A few weeks later, I sat at the device past midnight in the middle of May. The state of the world was still in peril as many had to keep working under difficult and dangerous conditions in my world. I was without a job, stupidly awaiting money from the state that would not come since I’ve been going about getting them wrong. Promises of coming back to my old work fluffed up inside me by my old boss every week. I was a puddle of my former self, unmotivated and afraid of coming back in here for Lila’s judgement again. I did not go inside, though I was sure she wasn't waiting for me in the tiny wooden box. She would be fine if I never came back, but I wanted to finish this venture and move on with my life. Maybe the ball was in my court now. The spawn chamber would be there for me for ten years, Lila included. I had not told her the tracker was on her wrist, but she was smart enough to figure it out herself eventually. It was the only thing I made sure to give as a gift. Again, I did ...

I returned to the small wooden room in the untethered space on Tuesday of the saddest St. Patrick’s Day under the heel of a pandemic of a virus in the reality I occupied. Had it been a normal day, I would have been at work the day before, and thus had a moment to speak to Lila at the tea shop I frequented. In light of this seclusion imposed on me, I had been away for another two days. Writing, and even using the writing device strained me at home. I had to explain that to her. I once stepped into the box to find the spiral staircase from before there, but ended up deleting that brief visit from record. I started writing it in the middle of the night at a hotel in Limerick for difficulty falling asleep. The clickety keyboard I used created too much sound for a quiet visit to that untethered space in the middle of the night. “Lila?” I asked, wondering if I would have to use the locator on her already. The bigger the space around me, the harder it would be to find her. Much like with Rebe...

As soon as I entered that V-scape, a message popped up to greet me from the only person I’ve met there, Ledeon. As it had been upwards of a year since I'd last been in contact with him, it was a surprise. “Wow,” he said in the message. “You haven’t been on at all since I met you. I take it you didn’t like the Dark World?” A prompt popped up to reply, but I hesitated. When my eyes focused on the reply prompt, a text box popped open. It was speech recognition in the highest of forms. “I did,” I said, to myself in the middle of the town to compose a reply. “I was just dealing with a lot at home. A friend just had a baby, and this might be the last time I’m ever in this place. Honestly, I don’t even know what I’m doing here.” “Huh,” he replied. I expected more, but he didn’t send anything else until I was half of the way to the next town. With the green filter, the gray environment looked desolate, but beautiful. “Send me your location. I’ll show you the coolest parts of this V-scape b...

“Luke?” I asked. The man walked closer and slipped out of his body to a green figure with an unnecessary sagging light penis in the front. “Uncle Kali is in the house!” he bellowed. A green light expanded from his body. He made about a hundred arcs of his own energy at once and slipped from visible light, but my specters could still pick him out. “So you fucked my sister, huh?” The pulses of anger were obvious, but I retaliated with some pride pulses. “I was human at the time,” I replied. “But yes, I had sex with your sister and we had a baby. His name is Filigare Agerist, and he’s a Zaxi just like I am now. Thanks to Doc, we are one and the same, brother.” I slipped out of the containment and back into my human skin. “We’re not brothers,” Luke said, sending angry pulses. “But Fil is my nephew.” He stopped feeding on himself and returned to visible light, still manifesting the saggy member. “Did Doc make you a better body?” I asked, avoiding looking at the green penis. Was it on purpos...