A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back on the last Monday before Christmas. It was going to be a short week at work, but I was sure it would be as difficult as always around this time of the year. Countless people wanted to take time off, leaving the work in less experienced hands. I entered the library at the main large room, with my shimmering green clothing already on. Fyntn appeared from a portal at the top of the stairs as if to urge me to come up. When I did not, he walked through and arrived next to me at another portal. “Hey, Fyntn,” I said. “Think we have a chance today?” “Even if not today, are you going to stop trying?” “No, you’re right,” I said, nodding. “Doesn’t matter how long it takes. Even if I can’t get them back together until next year. I’ll try until I can bring them back.” Fyntn said nothing more, only created a portal into a darkness that opened up to the three beds crowded in the conjoined room upstairs. We stepped through as the back of one claw smoothed the air to patch the portal small...

Past the Thanksgiving weekend, I sat once more at the device with an idea derived from six hours of waiting for someone to open the door to where I lived. It was a three-step plan for dealing with Kara. I hoped the third step would not be necessary. If the first step worked, I would not need the rest. It was more of a one step plan with two contingencies in case of failure. It was a real if-then-if-then-if-then scenario, with the last “then” drawing a blank. In programming, that would error out, but here it was the last line of defense, the third “if” being the exterminating final bullet to the problem Kara presented. I entered the library almost confident. I would be throwing emotions I had to field from Tarne back at Kara. I was interested in seeing how she felt after getting comfortable with the kid. It broke my heart. Maybe it could melt the ice around Kara’s wounded one. All she could see now was anger for what happened to James at the hands of someone very much gone. When I got u...

I came back to the library after the 4th of July holiday time away to find Finn sitting on the stairs. Could he feel it like Rebecca when I arrived? I studied him while out of phase, but he didn’t seem to notice me or be on alert at all. The dull-o-cap still glowed beneath his hair resulting in a cool effect. “Hold on, Jack!” Rebecca called from the bathroom upstairs. “I’ll be out in a few!” Finn lifted his eyes to look around, but found nobody. “Jack?” He asked the room. I sighed and phased into physical form. “Hey, Finnelgamin,” I said and waved. “What's up?” He met my eyes and looked up to the ceiling. “Exorcism,” he said, as if he were pondering the meaning of life itself. “Of that ghost you left for Rebby in granny’s house. We’ve been reading up on how to do it best, but I’d rather be with Eva.” I smiled until he met my eyes again. “What?” “Nothing,” I replied. “So you and Eva an item now? Since when?” “What do you mean?” Finn asked. “Oh, that’s right. Rebecca said that ...

I came back to her after a week or two. Time spent re-reading Finnelgamin was left uncounted, and filled my mind to the brim with old demons. I knew the whole story already, but it affected me harshly nonetheless. It was as if I did that cruelty all over again, and yet reading it over again made me understand how Finn came to exist so free of me. He was sealed away in his temporal bubble of repeated time, but in the story I wrote after, with a supposed copy of him, a damn Garavand reconnected them. When that story ended, what Finn found in the darkness beyond all the stars, was a way out. The only mistake he made was stepping into Rebecca’s space where I had complete control and connections to everything in my imagination. “Jack?” Rebecca asked of the library room. The electric tingle got her here, but she was right out of the bath, only wearing a towel on the hair and one to cover her body. “Are you here?” she started taking off the towel wrap around her, but I expanded the garment i...