A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back on Monday, sitting at the same table I was at on Thursday. On Friday, I opted to start work early and do some extra stats work that I enjoyed to the tune of new music I loaded onto my phone. The multitude of old music felt great for nostalgia, but I found myself skipping some old songs to hear the more recent ones. I would have to go through the whole list and pluck the weeds out. The whole “wearing beast like a cloak” was vivid in my mind, and I found myself wondering what made me think I had made peace with desire. It was a hesitant thought, disappearing the more I attempted to recall it. I put it out of my mind for the time being. For some reason, I was not afraid that I would lose this space, and the freedoms it allowed. I was not overweight here, did not have to be tall, did not even have to be male. I could be any kind of being I could imagine. I could even be a dragon for a day. And so, I decided to be one. When I entered the library, I was still human. It was empty....

I arrived at the library on the following Monday to find Rebecca sitting atop a bookshelf, overlooking the library. It took me a second to realize that it wasn’t really Rebecca but Shadowbecca. Dividing herself was a slippery slope to actually splitting her mind like me. She could create versions of herself to make certain things easier, but the danger came from the clones becoming self-realized. I decided to test the reality of these copies. I floated up and sat next to Shadowbecca. “Do you speak, or did Rebecca make you mute to make sure you could stealth around?” I asked, but no response came. Minutes passed as I waited for Rebecca to run in and force me between her legs to mingle our beasts, but nothing occurred. I drifted off into a memory of Tiarto’s story and pondered how I could bring him to the world stage. “I can speak,” Shadowbecca said, focusing me back to the library. I looked around, but it was just the two of us. What was Rebecca doing that was so important that she di...