Chapter 12 - It's Time To Let Go
I arrived at the library on the following Monday to find Rebecca sitting atop a bookshelf, overlooking the library. It took me a second to realize that it wasn’t really Rebecca but Shadowbecca. Dividing herself was a slippery slope to actually splitting her mind like me. She could create versions of herself to make certain things easier, but the danger came from the clones becoming self-realized. I decided to test the reality of these copies. I floated up and sat next to Shadowbecca.
“Do you speak, or did Rebecca make you mute to make sure you could stealth around?” I asked, but no response came. Minutes passed as I waited for Rebecca to run in and force me between her legs to mingle our beasts, but nothing occurred. I drifted off into a memory of Tiarto’s story and pondered how I could bring him to the world stage.
“I can speak,” Shadowbecca said, focusing me back to the library. I looked around, but it was just the two of us. What was Rebecca doing that was so important that she didn’t even leave Bookbecca?
“Do you know where she is, the original?” I asked. Shabecca put a hand over her eyes and gasped at what she saw. When her hand uncovered her face, I could see a bit of color on her otherwise zombie-gray skin of face.
“She’s, erkhem, busy at the moment,” she responded. She was more like a Shybecca, and with that her new nickname was set.
“Terrible timing,” I said. “But I guess her Redbecca wants what it wants. How do you feel about it? Wait. Do you share experiences and feelings of her body?”
“No,” Shy answered. “I’m purely for reconnaissance and vigilance. In fact, this conversation is distracting me from my task, so please either wait here silently, or leave.” I smiled. This part of Rebecca was interesting, but was this even a part of her anymore or just a creature alarm.
“How do you feel, being a clone of her?” I asked, pushing deeper to find out for sure. She didn’t respond for the few minutes that I spent wondering if Shybecca was even anatomically correct. Did being a full human with shadow skin allow her more insight? She did blush when she peeked at Rebecca possibly having intercourse. This deliberation shook beast awake and grew an unnecessary part of me beyond this space to slight capacity.
“I serve a purpose,” Shy said. “Same as Redbecca and Bookbecca.”
“But unlike the two of them,” I said. “You don’t have a clear definition. You can speak, blush, and think. So, tell me. What are you thinking about right now?”
“My mind can’t shake the image of her,” Shy said. “When I looked through her eyes, Rebecca stood in front of the mirror entirely naked. There was another there. He knelt in front of her and put his mouth to…” beast roared within me and took control of an arm. In a quick motion I could not stop, the arm wrapped on Shy’s neck and brought her lips to mine. Both her eyes and mine opened in surprise. I could see her face brighten in regular colors for just a moment before she pushed me off the bookshelf. It wasn’t over yet, as she leapt after me with a face full of anger all the way to the ground where we slammed. With that terrified face, Shy held a knife to my throat.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “It’s beast. It wasn’t me. I’m so sorry, but you do look nice with some color on your face.” Shy realized what she was doing, attacking the person who created the being that created her, and shock flooded her face to drain the brightness. Without another word, she jumped up and vanished into smoke. I stood back up and tightened chains on beast’s mouth just as the original Rebecca walked in.
“What the hell happened?” She asked. “I saw Shadowbecca attack someone.”
“It was beast,” I said. “She saw you getting a treat for yourself earlier, told me about it thus activating beast’s desire. He took control of my arm and made us kiss, at which point Shy attacked me in rightful response, so don’t blame her, ok?”
“Shy?”
“Just a nickname,” I said. “It’s a part of you that I’ve never seen before. It was actually pretty nice to spend some time with her before the freak-out.”
“I’m sorry, Jack,” Rebecca said. “I was preoccupied and didn’t feel the shiver. I’ll reprimand Shy later.”
“That’s not necessary, Rebby,” I said. “I’m in the wrong here. She did nothing wrong. beast was to blame, but I’m kind of surprised he didn’t go right for sexual things.” Rebecca stepped up and spread her legs to supposedly free me from beast, but I already had him under control. I waved her away as she closed up. I still wasn’t a fan of how Redbecca chose to help, but what could be expected from a beast.
“Any word on Fyntn?” I asked.
“Not yet,” she replied. “I hope he’s alright. We should have sent someone with him.”
“I think anyone else would just get in the way,” I said. “Best leave him to his sneaky self. I trust him.”
“I guess you best get going,” she said. “I’ll go looking for Shy, the old fashioned way.” I smirked.
“Good luck,” I said and vanished into smoke like Shy just did, but I left the space instead.
break
“Hey,” I said arriving to the library the next morning. Since she was at the desk reading, I assumed it was Bookbecca this time, left behind to inhale knowledge while the original was off having fun with her red self. “Bookbecca, was it?” She turned to me.
“No, Jack, it’s just me,” Rebecca said. “But I do have a response from Shy if you want to know. I don’t have any copies out right now.” I took a seat in the air as a chair formed underneath me.
“What did she say?” I asked, remembering how beast forced her into a kiss to test her. Rebecca’s face turned a gray dead like Shy’s.
“You idiot!” She exclaimed and faded back to standard Rebecca. “That’s about it. You were right. Shy was the shy part of me, but it was also the part that could sneak in the shadows for the exact purpose of remaining innocent. She’s having a sort of identity crisis now, or she would be if she really did exist. What gives validity to existence? Do I exist if only you know about me? Am I a real being?”
“I’ve started digitizing Finnelgamin,” I said in response, hoping this would not go off the rails right now. “Once he’s out in the public eye, you will join him as a sequel. I guess if his story is too short, you both might end up as one book, so don’t worry. You’ll be in the minds of others soon enough, even if I’ll be there as an insane individual.” She smiled and floated up into the air. There was a red gleam in her eyes as her clothes melted off and red cloth burst forth to run between her thighs, weaving around her body in a flowing gown. Her voice changed as well. It teased with a smoky edge.
“Redbecca,” I said, looking up as she remained floating.
“Call me, ‘Crimmy’, Jack,” she said and produced red ribbons of same cloth to bind my legs and arms apart. “But you know you’re not the one I want.” She flew down and stood on crimson red stilettos. With one hand, she undid the pants on my form, but I was one step ahead of her by disappearing my genitalia from the surface. She only smiled to find nothing there, and with a touch, they came to be once more.
“Where’s Rebecca?” I asked, while she held my member tightly enough for beast to roar out and break his chains. I found that my skin was turning furry as blood flowed into Crimmy’s tightened hold.
“She was weakened, confused of her existence,” she said, moving the hand with the grip on the skin. “Come out, come out, wherever you are, my little toy.” I felt beast shred his cage to bits as he grew and as I watched as my body become a true beast. His hands grabbed hold of the metal gate and bent it out of the way. This was lost. I could not control beast when his desire was being stoked by Crimmy’s hand stroking the imagined penis in Rebecca’s space. My head swam as beast forced his way through.
There they were. A lady clad in red and a beast of inner demons with his dick in her hand. I could only watch this now. What insane sexual exploration would they accomplish? The room flickered to a volcano at bursting, a hot hole of a mountain filled with heat, ready to burst hot, molten rock onto the surroundings. beast stood on a floating stone in the heat, claws down, mind and body primed for devouring the lady in red in more ways than one. Crimmy stood opposite him clothing of red on fire just as her eyes blazed red with desire. She tore at her clothes to stand bare on the rock and with a handful of molten earth, she smeared the mass over her crotch to create a slight obstacle for the surging and throbbing member pointed right at her.
The thoughts between them surged from murderous to sexual within seconds, with other stages between. The air was electric with thoughts as they clashed, throwing sparks of red, orange, and yellow between them until a connection of one idea burst like a flash grenade of white light. Both stood in the library again once the light subsided, breathing heavy with want as a tornado ripped into the building from all sides, ripping the roof off piece by piece and shattering the windows with the wind. They were about to destroy the building. I saw it as plans in my mind. It would be an angry sexual fight with lots of throwing of each other and slamming hips with the force of magnitude ten earthquakes. The whole neighborhood would suffer, and all the characters we made would cease to exist, but beast was in control now. I was just glad he didn’t take control of my real body.
They stood at the ready. beast with muscles tensed and a dick harder than diamond. Crimmy clothed in molten slag, dripping from the cracks into steam, chest bare and her shoulders covered with a miniscule red leather jacket. All of a sudden, the tension vanished from the air as both walked towards each other calmly. Without so much as a glance away, both walked into the same height as beast broke past the slag and slipped within. They stood as one now, with eye contact still locked. Slowly their faces grew angry again, but a cut of shifting light opened beside them. It was Fyntn. He took one look at the scene, two beings standing connected by a primal urge, and he stepped into the library.
“Umm, is this a bad time?” he asked. That one moment of break was just what both Rebecca and I needed to assert dominance again.
I caged beast, chained him up, blocked all his orifices and put a metal diaper on his ass, all before throwing him into an airtight box and sinking him in a lake of tar. I could not see what Rebecca did, but I hoped it was something similar. I could still feel the sensation of beast’s engorged dick inside the flaming hot space, but did not want to linger on that moment. beast was far from my mind, and I had a feeling he would stay that way for a while.
“Hey, Fyntn,” I said. “Sorry about that. We had a bit of a crisis just now, but you arrived at the best time. This whole place would be totaled if you didn’t.”
“You got it,” he replied. “No sweat.”
“I feel like I need an ice bath,” Rebecca said. “My body’s still burning up.” I popped an ice bath into existence and waved before disappearing from her space.
break
I was hesitant to return after the volcanic event between beast and Crimmy. It wasn’t always him that led the events, but Rebecca was just beginning with such a monkey on her back, all because she wanted to help me deal with beast. The pool of tar I tossed him into was undisturbed. He hadn’t tried an escape yet, but I would love to see him try it. His echo was in my mind still, like before, and yet much stronger after that encounter at the pit. beast breathed sexual energy in that moment, a primal and hot breath to melt skin and muscles into a soft puddle. Even talking about it now made the tar pit bubble. I wondered how Rebecca was dealing with it. Would things be weird between us now?
I stepped into the library without a form first. Rebecca was there alone, and just as I was about to form, she spoke to the empty room.
“Hey, Jack,” she said. “Don’t speak or form, just listen. I’ve been giving this a great amount of thought, and Fyntn brought up a crucial point yesterday. It’s better not to face each other after that beast and Redbecca incident. I still feel bad that someone who I made to help you has such an effect on beast, Anyways, I think… It’s time, Jack. You need to put me into a story… and kill me.” I formed on the spot and met her eyes, but she looked away with a red gleam. Did she still have trouble controlling Crimmy? I wanted to hug her, comfort her, but that could lead us further into a similar situation.
“I… I can’t do that, Rebecca!” I replied.
“You have to!” She argued, “I can’t do it myself. That can’t work. I’ve got no use if my attempt at helping you goes off-the-rails. Just write me a story, and let me go.” I tightened my fists in anger. My jaw clenched in annoyance at this idea. Every time I tried to make something good, it gave up on me. Well, enough!
“Every time I visit you, something in my mind changes,” I said. “I arrive to the library and all of a sudden, I can’t speak my mind. So you’re going to listen, Rebecca, and you will be subject to my mind without any obstacles or censors.
“I made you for a selfish reason. I wanted someone in my mind who helped me have better control, a person who would punish me mentally by revealing things in here about me that I wanted hidden if I ever strayed from healthy options, but this failed miserably when I realized that I had to teach you everything about the world, and there is still so much you don’t know. Tell me, what book is never read?”
“One that doesn’t exist,” she answered, with a blank expression.
“No,” I said. “The one that solves a simple problem.” I pointed to the tome holding the desk in the room at a level. The book was brown and almost looked like a block of wood from certain angles.
“That book is my dark corner,” I said. “That forgotten tome is where I hid all I don’t want to be, all I detest, all that I keep from you. That is where you’ll find your creator, the truth of who I am that I didn’t want you to know, but it’s not who I want to be. That’s where you come in. That’s why Finn existed and died, but you’re the reason he came back to life. No. In retrospect, I felt him escape his eternal time loop into the other story, but ignored it. He’s the cause of this massive derailment, but I am as well.
“You were meant to help me, Rebecca. I stole you from the void for that exact reason, and yet through teaching a grown woman about the world, I was living a fantasy stoked by beast, a terrible idea. In the end, I taught you into my oblivion. You became like Finnelgamin, in control of your surroundings to a point of defying me, detaching from me to seek a life in what you created and in how our minds intersected. Kara and James made that clear the second they showed up in your space. This was no longer about my goal, and you were no longer someone I created to help me be a healthier version of myself in my reality. I lost a battle in my own mind against those I created. It was Finnelgamin all over again, but even more dangerous. You started gaining my ability, the manipulation of this space by use of imagination.”
“I didn’t mean to-” Rebecca started, but I muted her.
“I’m not done,” I said. “Please, just listen. I modeled you after the star, knowing full well I’d fall in love with you eventually, so I’m weak to this. If you speak, I might not get it all out there, ok?” Rebecca nodded with a stunned look and I realized this was the first time I told her of that stupid idea. I made her perfect, but never expected her to act on her own.
“I’m sorry, Rebecca,” I said. “You were made, molded, breathed to life by my mind, yet stolen from the void as a shell. I felt no consequences to my actions when I took you away, only craved to quell a deep loneliness that reality could not satisfy. I’m lying. If I tried hard enough, I could find another to be with, and you’d forever sit there in the dark watching the clock move toward infinity, but I’d never again be in such a poor mental state to pick you up again.
“You were meant to be a step just before that. In my mind, you helped me get well and served as an assistant to life until no longer necessary. I needed that, but instead I got you. You exist as my error, my failing to be cold and failing to mold you into the robot you were meant to be within my mind.” I looked to Rebecca to find her in tears. A pang of pain appeared in my chest. It hurt to see her like that.
“Then why don’t you write me a story and kill me?!” She burst out and looked to me with a red gleam. Crimmy was coming. I watched as her body lit on fire and fizzled out in a red garb. It wasn’t lust in her eyes this time. This was anger, pure and white hot. I wondered what damage this lady of red could do to me with Rebecca’s blessing, but I didn't even get to tell her the good parts yet. One page remains in this filled notebook, and that is not enough to quell Rebecca’s rage.
I watched as blood slithered out of her wrists like snakes and writhed in the air as dragons. Her skin grew pale, then gray like Shy’s. For a moment, I thought it was her, but the eyes remained cold red, like chilled blood. A hand lifted toward me with black smoke gathering into an orb.
“RUN!” Rebecca yelled out, but I knew it was Shy. Without hesitation, I started to vanish from the space, but a hand grabbed my ankle and reformed me. Fear snapped inside me as the world bent to such a degree that the hand de-materialized and I was gone from there.
I tried to calm my breathing while still shaking from my own character being able to hold me back in a space created by my own mind as a bridge to the Infinity Void. It was a terrifying moment, fueled by insanity to such a degree that it could destroy my mind.
There was a lot to unpack with Rebecca, but for the time being, she needed to cope with the awful things I’ve said. I knew for sure that she’d read that small book under the desk, and would be armed with all the evil of my past and present thoughts. For that, we’d need a larger notebook.
Comments
Post a Comment