A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back the next day, in the morning. As my computer demanded a restart for updates, I turned to the writing device only to find it less useful in forgetting the world exists around me. I figured I would check on Kara and Lila’s progress of removing me from Tarne, but was that really what I wanted? It was a chance to embody an actual woman, learn everything women had to go through as they grew up. Maybe it was a safety net for my soul when I would leave my own world. That still did not explain who Tarne really was when I was not there. From what I knew of that body, she was my type of human. I had nothing between my legs extra, from the times I had been around for Lila changing my diaper, but no opening on the upper back like Lila’s kind as far as I knew. The fact that I was diapered was clearly because I was a human child. I vaguely recalled Lila saying something about how her kind does not defecate, only compact and incinerate all food waste prior to it leaving the body. I arrive...

“Hi, Lila,” I said. To catch up, the story had been going inside my brain without you. I needed to find a way to communicate with Lila, so I popped a board that displays my words in the library. From then we discussed being able to free myself from Tarne, the child she gave birth to, which was actually me. For the best part of a week I had been stopping by to create something, any little thing with creationism that I could muster. At first, it was a tower atop the library and a flying vehicle that docked there much like my dream. Due to that creating a very real migraine in my reality, I stopped creating things until Lila dragged me in from a dream and told me that I had to keep trying, no matter how small. Next I created a thumbtack, then a nail, then a ball, then I brought forth a car into the library. Lastly, Lila asked me if I was ok, and not wanting to worry her I told her I was. The message displayed as green light on the message board, making her turn to see it. She did not repl...

I came back a few days later to the same feeling of warm comfort I hoped it still was. Having become comfortable in another gathering of people, I just disconnected from them again. It had to happen. Both JJ and beast started bleeding through. While an imaginative kid could use some friends, beast was not someone that deserved to exist around others. Just like before, I would miss those few I grew fond of, but they were better off not knowing me. The warmth I felt around me was also wet. With that in mind, I could only assume I was in a womb. If this was Lila’s womb, I had no idea what the birth would look like as that part of her being’s life cycle was not known to me. I knew two things other than this: that I could not see, and that I had no way of editing my predicament. Whatever this was, I would have to let it play out. In a strange way, I did not want to leave this comfortable embrace of warm wetness. It was like a sensory deprivation chamber, only you did not float in water, but...

NILVIIVLIN It was a dragon. A baby, but still a dragon. Nilvi was looking at it hatching before her very eyes. The stranger thing was that this creature of myth and legends was emerging from what she believed to be a farm-fresh chicken egg. She got it from the chicken coop and rather than cook it, Nil decided to hatch the poor creature only to be heartily surprised. The process took no extreme measures, no blazing pyre like in the books. One heating blub and time was all it took. The creature was almost entirely out of the shell, but a few bits still stuck to surprisingly smooth lavender skin. In the books, dragons were said to be scaly and reptilian in nature, but here was an example of a different outcome. It had a pair of horns already atop a rather reptilian head, but the eyes were as those of a mammal. “You need a name,” Nil said as the little dragon turned to her as if she didn’t even exist before. The little maw opened to produce a tiny squeak. “Oh, but are you a boy dragon or...