A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back on the last Monday before Christmas. It was going to be a short week at work, but I was sure it would be as difficult as always around this time of the year. Countless people wanted to take time off, leaving the work in less experienced hands. I entered the library at the main large room, with my shimmering green clothing already on. Fyntn appeared from a portal at the top of the stairs as if to urge me to come up. When I did not, he walked through and arrived next to me at another portal. “Hey, Fyntn,” I said. “Think we have a chance today?” “Even if not today, are you going to stop trying?” “No, you’re right,” I said, nodding. “Doesn’t matter how long it takes. Even if I can’t get them back together until next year. I’ll try until I can bring them back.” Fyntn said nothing more, only created a portal into a darkness that opened up to the three beds crowded in the conjoined room upstairs. We stepped through as the back of one claw smoothed the air to patch the portal small...

I returned at lunch, a bit late by my own fault. Fyntn was right beside me this time as I entered the library on the second floor. The room was silent, except for the portal created in the air oscillating gently with the sound of continuous and slow tearing of paper. We walked through it together, the slightly red edge oscillating open to fit us as we passed through. It shrank as soon as we were through. Beyond was another portal that led to Kara’s mind, just like before, but this one’s edge was white-out green, and no sound was coming from it. “Here goes something,” I said. “Nothing,” Fyntn said. “That’s the expression, but I’m going to try something.” “Good.” I stepped through into darkness that lasted a few seconds before a bright light impacted my body, tearing at my plot armor. The green shreds tore into the fading light, as I reached for them. I clung to the last of the green shimmering cloth while floating naked in the darkness. I pushed my creationism to force the cloth back to...

I came back a week or so later. My time was spent writing other things, from Voltra to Anton and Moira . They were stories for a younger generation, each weaving problems of future strife they had to overcome without notice. I stepped into the library in physical form. It was nice to be here where heat was not. My reality was experiencing those last few days of summer heat before the burst into the fall season. Sleep in 100% humidity at 80 degrees Fahrenheit was a struggle, but it was all at an end. Before long, rains would proliferate the sky day and night. The library was empty, as it often was. The space was big, and the people who sometimes occupied it were few. When Rebecca divided herself into ten separate versions of herself, it felt lively in the library. Not to mention that the library was actually a flying vessel back then. I could still put the building into that mode, but I feared creating another world populated with the things I gathered from the ivy. That thinking almos...

I came back a week later, realizing I forgot to find a way to keep her out of my mind. Instead of entering the library, I sat at my device, mind outside of the untethered space. Maybe there was a way to contact Fyntn this way. There was no way he would show up in my reality, but I have seen him around in the corner of my eye a few times, a flicker of a shape vanishing. #Fyntn?# I thought with my eyes closed. Behind my eyelids I found something else than the imagination opening to the untethered space. There was a corridor in half light, with a distant doorway that had a rosy light to it. I flew through it and then into the corridor with rose pink light. The corridor led to a room made of pink flesh. I had no form in there, just a standard array of senses. #Fyntn?# #Welcome to the inside of your brain,# he said. I looked around, but doubted this was my brain. #I can hear your thoughts, by the way. Kinda, like, always. Look.# I watched at the direction he pointed as a light emerged from ...

My fire was always considered the odd one out. My mom pretended to like the fact that it looked like a rainbow, but Dad and my brothers were never that good at lying. It was unique, unheard of even, but in their eyes only weird. My mom’s fire was lime green, like the shadow mages and their minions. She had good standing in their circles because of this fact, expanding relations with a powerful force. Dad’s fire was the classic orange-red. He was very common among firemongers, and the fact that Mom ever gave him the time of day was a miracle. His classical nature made instant pals with the other clans who kept up their orange-red fire circles. My elder brother Henry’s fire was a gentle orange, like that of twilight just past the sunset, lingering from blue sky to the gentlest orange horizon. I always loved that about his fire. He was artistic, putting shows on for our family and clans. This gathered a lot of interest from girls. He could be so sweet one moment, and very mean the next. T...