A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I hesitated coming back after Christmas. Lila would no doubt tell Kara about my slip up. Knowing what happened could only expose the gunshot underneath the band-aid. I had worked too hard to change their minds, to have them forget. First of all, there was nothing to know. The person Tarne was had nothing to do with what the soul was before. Granted he regained his memories once before, but Fyntn fixed that with his sacrifice. Having delayed going into the library until the last few minutes before work, I needed to face what became of Kara. I had to know that the memory of knowing was erased. I stepped into the library to find it empty, but rather than call out, I sent out a telepathic field to only connect to Kara. She was nowhere to be found, possibly no longer in the untethered space. She had the Keir after all, and I worried what that might mean, having revealed the plan to erase her memories to James AI. The setting was wrong. I would have to stop by again another time. I was disap...

I came back the next day without an idea how to fix the mess I possibly created by myself. If only there was a way for Akier to forget he ever was his past life. If he could just go back to being Tarne… It would not work. Kara would know. Lila would, too. I wanted a rewrite, to stop myself from bringing these events on. Was it my mind seeking to destroy happiness for entertainment? Yet, it still felt like healing, like understanding myself. I have come a long way from Finnelgamin. Even though Rebecca was the true surgery of my psyche, Lila was the rehabilitation. Is. I entered the library to find Lila holding Tarne in a headlock. I rushed to separate them, and pulled Lila aside. “What was that?” I asked. “He’s not supposed to be here!” Lila exclaimed. “I want my daughter back! You hear that, you monster piece of shit? Get the fuck out of my daughter’s body!” “Lila,” I said, forcing her to meet my eyes. “I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s always been him. When I wasn’t Tarne, the emp...

The small black spot in visible white space was motionless until it exploded to encase me. It was a sort of tunnel that reminded me of the Dream Vestibule that Ernie took me into. Whatever happened to that guy? He was fun. He also mentioned JJ. Was that the flawless shroud , or the person who made that invisible cloak ? Did Ernie age out of his human skin? Was he a full Garavand now? Maybe I’d meet him later. The tunnel snapped shut around me until I was standing beside Fiona again in some virtual ‘scape of a tropical island. “What took you so long?” she asked. “Fear, mostly,” I replied. “Where are we?” “A virtual realism ‘scape,” she said. “One of the few Japanese islands that is not underwater yet. They just accepted that their country will eventually sink even with the desalination nation pulling water out, and began waterproofing everything. Now they have buildings half-underwater that sway with every tsunami and can operate like ships. Smart people adapt to unforgiving natu...