A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back on Monday, sitting at the same table I was at on Thursday. On Friday, I opted to start work early and do some extra stats work that I enjoyed to the tune of new music I loaded onto my phone. The multitude of old music felt great for nostalgia, but I found myself skipping some old songs to hear the more recent ones. I would have to go through the whole list and pluck the weeds out. The whole “wearing beast like a cloak” was vivid in my mind, and I found myself wondering what made me think I had made peace with desire. It was a hesitant thought, disappearing the more I attempted to recall it. I put it out of my mind for the time being. For some reason, I was not afraid that I would lose this space, and the freedoms it allowed. I was not overweight here, did not have to be tall, did not even have to be male. I could be any kind of being I could imagine. I could even be a dragon for a day. And so, I decided to be one. When I entered the library, I was still human. It was empty....

When I awoke, I was nearly covered up by snow. It resisted soaking into my clothes because of the cold, and my skin felt like stone. I did not know why I was sleeping outside, but I could not recall much of where I had been before going to sleep. I knew but two things, my name, and the name of my trusted sword. ”My beloved, lend me your strength,” I spoke, trying to brace the cold threatening my life. I pushed my being into my arms, feeling the heart pounding in desperation. When it got to my hands, the energy of my body shared itself with the steel, casting alight in the namesake. “Nastu no Atsusa.” The outpost of heat from the blade huddled my body around it, keeping a stance of my arms tightened to channel energy into it that warmed beside me. It felt less to me like the summer heat the sword was named after, and more like a hot iron bar that could burn me if I was not careful. It melted some snow around me, and I could stand, still sinking into the packed snow below. The first thin...