A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back a few days later to the same feeling of warm comfort I hoped it still was. Having become comfortable in another gathering of people, I just disconnected from them again. It had to happen. Both JJ and beast started bleeding through. While an imaginative kid could use some friends, beast was not someone that deserved to exist around others. Just like before, I would miss those few I grew fond of, but they were better off not knowing me. The warmth I felt around me was also wet. With that in mind, I could only assume I was in a womb. If this was Lila’s womb, I had no idea what the birth would look like as that part of her being’s life cycle was not known to me. I knew two things other than this: that I could not see, and that I had no way of editing my predicament. Whatever this was, I would have to let it play out. In a strange way, I did not want to leave this comfortable embrace of warm wetness. It was like a sensory deprivation chamber, only you did not float in water, but...

Here, a story of normal note would create a split to build suspense, but the fact of the matter is that everything was happening at the time of writing, even if it is read much later. I stood before myself in the doorway to the library. It was a blatant copy, voice and all, but I knew it was my own fault. Emptiness, much like a black hole in principle, wanted to fill itself. When given access to a rich database of information, it filled itself with that. I gave it a database, and in turn learned of a new, and much deeper sense of emptiness. “Please, don’t be alarmed,” it said. “That’s my voice,” I said. “You took my voice!” “I’m borrowing it,” it explained. “I didn’t have one before. I don’t know if I had anything before that illustrious moment of ‘let there be light’. I’m grateful to you, and wanted to say so.” “What in the fucking hell is happening right now?!” Lila exploded from behind me. “Who are you? What are you doing in untethered space? Are you like me? Are you like Jack? Why ...

I came back two days later, three if you count that it was almost two in the morning. I was in a different mindset following a mass layoff due to the virus affecting all businesses. I did not want the night to end because the next few days would not be easy. The essential jobs were likely to be the only form of income, but a lot of people would be unemployed until the virus died down. At the very least, I did not want to worry Lila about the things happening in my reality. I would get by somehow. As I entered the room under the library, I found her sleeping there on the couch. Maybe since I provided my day-night cycle, she aligned to it. I did not want to wake her. Her face looked so calm and I wanted to keep it that way. Rather than leave for the night, I went upstairs to see if the alchemy-magical circle she made in the floor had any success over the days I had been away. It became apparent that it did not capture the person in question, as the drawn strands of wood curved into a lot...