Chapter 52 - Happy When You Are
All my touting of trust over Moredo, and I had not been back in months. I was afraid of what I would find. If I trusted Fyntn, I would have gone back the next day. Meanwhile, I entertained myself with a story of a girl in a world ruined by the past, dreaming. I came back the morning of a Wednesday, after being woken up at five in the morning by someone calling out my name. It had to be a dream, someone from the library I left behind. I could not foretell what to expect now, but I would most definitely not be in female form. I just hoped Tarne was back to her previous self.
I stepped into the untethered space, or my tether of reality core to the library. It looked just like when I left it, except for the darkness beyond the windows again. I partially missed the gray. The library itself was empty, almost heartrendingly so. What if, in my time away, the Rahin actually came for Lila and Tarne?
“Hello?” I called out, realizing my voice was male. I created a full body mirror right away and found I was back to my standard. I could change it, edit it a bit, but it would never be as drastic as the change at the end of the world I perceived when Lila helped me battle the void amalgams.
I felt arms around me first, then the warmth of a small body on my back. The mirror only reflected me, but when I looked down there were definitely arms on my chest. It felt strange. Maybe I made the mirror only reflect me somehow.
“Jack!” A voice shouted up against my back. “Where have you been?” I turned, vanishing the mirror from existence. It was Tarne, the child version, before the Garroton Bloom blunder of aging her to about Lila’s age. I hesitated, knowing Akier Vilamones Moredo was a part of her mind.
“Away,” I said. “Your moms around?”
“Why were you away?” Tarne asked, ignoring my question. “Was it something… I did?” Her eyes welled with tears, making me feel bad. I hugged her.
“Not a chance, Tee,” I said. “I just needed some time. You’re the greatest.”
“Promise?”
“Promise,” I said, just as my wireless keyboard died. I would have to come back to see Lila and Kara. “I gotta go, but I’ll be back, ok? Tell your moms that, alright?” Tarne nodded. I held out a hand and when she shook it I turned into fireworks to exit, much to her delight. Maybe there was a way to extract Akier from her mind.
break
I came back at lunch already in progress. I had half an hour left of free time to recharge from the social drain of existing near other human beings, or rather within a social scene where you had to interact constantly. My morning time was marred by seeking a seat in a pseudo-post pandemic time. A lot of open spaces were still closed off, and comfortable seating was scarce. The only places that had seats to keep you comfortable were restaurants. Corporate chains were open to seating, but had uncomfortable seats to limit time spent there.
I came back in, this time arriving in the box below the library with a spiral staircase going up to the library. I missed this, but the laptop was already disintegrated. I would have to check in with Fyntn about the exact position of time we ended up in. I half-expected him to show up now, but didn't have time to spare. I headed up the staircase, then stopped, forgetting I could just float through the floor. Float I did, right under Kara, who jumped out of the way in surprise.
“JACK!” Kara exclaimed.
“Sorry,” I said, setting down on the ground.
“You were gone for a while,” she said. “I thought you’d miss when the Rahin came, so I used the intercom thing you left.”
“The Rahin came?”
“Well, no,” she replied. “But you were gone for so long. You worried Tarne.”
“Yeah, sorry,” I said. “I started writing something else.”
“Oooh, should we be jealous?” Kara asked, smiling wryly. I smiled at the reaction.
“You’re more than just something I’m writing, Kara,” I said. “Is Lila around?”
“In the bath,” she replied. “So what were you writing about? Something fueled by beast?” I raised an eyebrow at her. Did she want to read some of my adult themed stories?
“JJ more like,” I said. “It’s about a girl who lives underground, and has never seen the sky, so she ventures out to see the sky without all the clouds and lightning. Did you— Did you want a story with a sexual factor?” Kara put a finger to her chin for a moment.
“But not like, cruel, right?” She asked. So not Wordsmith, Half-life, or Tisyros. I still had other stories purely motivated by desire. I had been meaning to get back to them, but mixing levels of maturity was a hurdle.
“I think there is something you might like that isn’t cruel,” I said. I drew out a booklet I wrote on a Dullahan who explored her sexuality with the help of her own magically detached head, and a few friends. “Just keep it away from prying eyes.” I tossed the booklet over, as Kara drew out her Keir and produced a box where the booklet landed. The piece of metal sank back into her skin like a tattoo beside her left collarbone.
“Thanks,” she said. It felt weird, but this was happy Kara, before the changes. I wondered if Tarne would get aged up by Garr again if I did not change anything, or if this round was already altered.
“I gotta go,” I said, waved, and fell to the ground to transition out.
break
I came back the next day, after a night of doing laundry and taking time to adjust my back. It felt better, almost happy. It did help that it was the day of my work’s paycheck, and I had plans to buy some delicious onigiri for lunch. I entered the library, forgetful where I left things.
“Jack!” Lila exclaimed before I could even see. I felt arms around me in darkness, and found my vision obstructed by her body.
“Hey, Lila,” I said, sounding muffled in her embrace. “I’d like to breathe now.”
“Sorry,” Lila said, letting go. “You worried me, you dummy!”
“How so?” I asked, forgetting I had been away for a few months.
“I thought I did something wrong,” she said. I smiled.
“Tarne said the same thing,” I said. “Neither of you did anything wrong, unless that was unclear. I saw you were in a happy place with Kara and Tarne, so I left you guys to enjoy. You hardly need a fourth wheel in your family trio.”
“But you’re part of our family quartet,” she said.
“I know, but it’s not like I’ll be having a threesome with you and Kara anytime soon,” I said, or rather beast burst out from my lack of response. I put a hand over my mouth in shock. Lila just burst out laughing.
“That depends on Kara,” Lila said. “She’s been getting relaxed of late. I’ll keep you updated when she’s willing.” I wanted to tell her that it was not me who said that, but she already knew that. She also knew that beast was a part of me, and treated his words as intent. That female beast I remembered from a timeline now gone was different, but maybe not better. A direct approach to the passion of male versus a silent sexual hunger of female was a strange comparison, and likely not an accurate portrayal of those parts of the human mind.
“Have you seen Fyntn around?” I asked.
“He should be around somewhere,” Lila said, then put hands to her mouth. “FYN? You around?” The library echoed lightly and fell silent again. “Guess he’s busy with something else. He’ll be around. You do seem different than before you left. Almost… stressed. Do you want me to help you release a bit of that?”
“I’m good,” I said. “It’s not that kind of tension.”
“You say that now,” Lila said. “But everything feels that much clearer after a satisfying orgasm.” That much was true. If it was not forced, or rushed, it was the absolute medicine for some ailments. I missed having an opening instead, and got depressed thinking about it.
“Sorry,” Lila said, looking at my expression.
“No, no, that’s not on you,” I said. “I was just thinking when I was Tarne. I wanted to grow up as a woman, and it was a bit sad that didn’t happen, but I’m glad Tarne is…” I trailed off, remembering who Tarne really was. I had to find a way to lock that part of her up forever. “Sorry. I’m glad Tarne is your daughter. I’m glad you’re a happy family.” I started wondering in the void amalgams still waited in the untethered space to attack, and if Garr was still set to malfunction to age Tarne up. I decided to say goodbye to a friend for the time being.
With a wave of my hand randomly, I removed Garr from existence in the garden. Even if he was the safe version of the original flower, I did not want the timeline to proceed the same. I felt like there would be a spring-back to time being altered, but maybe it was true what I learned before. There was only the spot in time around you, and everything else before and ahead was linked to the person in that moment.
“I have to go for now,” I said.
“But you just got here,” Lila argued. “We should go dancing in the attic, or play some games, or maybe a calm walk in the garden.” I had a thought back to when grownup Tarne brought me over to Brancher. It was unlikely that Lila knew about that yet. I held out a hand, and she took it without hesitation. We flew over, through walls and trees in the garden to Brancher’s chamber in the canopies. Two seats awaited us, as if Brancher already knew we were coming.
“It’s strange, but very cool,” I said, removing my clothes. Lila followed suit. We stood naked before each other, slowly gazing over the nudity of one another. I almost forgot she had nothing between her legs. The bulge was a muscle, and her vagina was on her lower back. I was sure Brancher would find its way.
“Now what?” She asked.
“Sit, and relax,” I said. I took a seat in one of the thrones woven from vines, and sighed. Lila sat across from me, excited, but also a bit frightened. “It’s ok. Brancher will weave vines into all crevasses and holes. It’s a very euphoric experience, unlike anything possible in my reality.”
“Like, in EVERY hole?” Lila asked, adjusting herself in the seat. I saw her gasp and arch back a bit as a vine likely entered her yoni and elyx. I felt the vines crawl up into my anal cavity, and encase my penis to enter through the urethra. Before long, I saw vines climb up to my face, as Lila writhed in enjoyment and the vines found her waste port just below her neck. “WOW!”
I smiled, and remained fully penetrated by vines for a few moments longer. The external vines budded and blossomed all over me in small pink flowers, while the flowers over Lila were burgundy. I melted into the water to exit.
break
I came back in a few days, after finishing Voltra. I was not happy with it. The ending was too similar to Valerie’s. In both cases, the main character was found and welcomed back. Voltra had to convey something more. I would rewrite the ending soon, but had to stop by the library today.
When I entered, Lila was by herself on the couch, dozing off with her face covered by a book. Rather than wake her up, I sat by the couch on her left side and felt memories reel back to Rebecca. It felt like I sat with her just like this once, but when I tried to recall the moment, it felt like I was bounced back. Maybe I could read Rebecca’s story through again after this thing was over. I smiled, and looked over to Lila’s peaceful expression.
To think she was once an abused girl turned terrorist, before getting digitized as an Artificial Intelligence to continue her purging. I could only imagine that her creators did not realize that making her was a mistake until too late to stop the destruction of their world. And here she was, sleeping calmly with her face in a book. Love had a power, both for a child and for a significant other. To me, it felt like weakness for the longest time, but it was strength when threatened.
I sighed into the air, letting air particles become visible and dance in the air per my control. They formed into my female self, the forgotten bit of what was.
“Who’s that?” Lila asked lazily. I looked over to see one eye open underneath the book. I waved my hand at the image to disperse, but she snapped it back to form with a motion.
“Nobody important,” I said. Lila lifted the book off her face and sat up on the couch. Her back was wet in the spot where I knew her triskele vagina to be. I wondered whether her sort of human had to sleep on their stomachs most of the time. They had the muscle structure to do so, with a large stomach muscle that went between legs to the back.
“She looks cool,” she said, spinning the floating form. In a quick finger flick, Lila made the figure full size, lose all clothes, and become physical. I watched as the figure lowered her pelvis over Lila to be met with a hungry tongue. There was no sound, but her— my female face contorted in pleasure. It felt weird to watch this happen, and when Lila burst sound into it with a strike to the buttock, I had to put a stop to it. Just as I wound up a deconstruction with my hand, I heard the female version of myself orgasm. When the figure fell forward, it disintegrated while falling backward onto Lila.
“That was hot,” I said. Lila smiled and reached a hand out to me, but I stood up from the floor. “It’s better we don’t. I don’t want to break anything you have with Kara.”
“Actually, I’ve been talking with her,” Lila said. “She liked your sex story. I think I could talk her around to having a threesome with you, if that’s something you’d be interested in.” I thought back to when I was female in here, and the times we have been together back then, or in a different timeline. It was better this way.
“Maybe,” I said. I had to wonder if this was before Lila saw me explore my desire to be a different gender, or after. The answer was obvious, since she did not recognize my female form. This was wound back to before everything changed, and it hurt to be here. This was better than the alternative I escaped thanks to Fyntn. I wondered where he was.
“I have to go,” I said.
“You stop by for such short amounts of time lately,” she said.
“I mean, aren’t you happy with Kara and Tarne?”
“I am, but what about you?”
“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” I hated lying to her, but I would protect this bliss for her and Kara with everything I could. It was more important than my whole life. I would not let the timeline get to Akier again.
“I can tell you’re lying, but I don’t know why you’d do that,” Lila said. “Did something happen that I don’t know about? Are you really going to make me read it out of your mind?” I froze. She could do that. I had to find a way to keep my thoughts away from her. I dropped through the library floor and exited before she tried doing it.
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