Chapter 45 - Just Myself For Now

…everyone. Fyntn was by my side, looking depressed with his ears sagging to the floor. His eyes churned with gold, which dripped down and splashed on the floor, solidifying in a splash of that bright yellow precious metal. Lila was standing with Kara, hands clasped together looking up to the missing ceiling. Above was a wriggling dark, only illuminated by the light the library gave.

“Why did you come back?” Fyntn asked. “I tried to save you. I tried to get you back to your world. Why did you come back, Jack?” I held his hand, watching a gold tear fall onto my hand and scorch it as the gold solidified before I could pry it off. The heat seared off the top layers of skin already, pulling like strings that would hurt in reality. I was only glad I could not feel this pain.

“You didn’t answer my question,” I said, and shrugged with a smile.

“That was stupid,” he said, but his mouth formed a subtle smile in response. “Tarne is—“

“Somewhere in there, right?” I asked, pointing to the wriggling dark above. It did not seem to be coming any closer, but looked ever more menacing and scary.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“Is it the Rahin?”

“No, this is something else,” he said. “I don’t know what these are, and I know everything. This is— I don’t know what this is, Jack. It’s like there is a rope around my neck, and I can’t feel it, but it keeps tightening.”

“That’s fear, buddy,” I said. “I’m quite familiar, living a coward’s life in my reality. I do have an idea as to what this is, but thinking about it could just make it come true, so I’d rather not voice it out. Then again, I have no more creationism in here, so might as well.” Fyntn looked to me, while drying his gold tears on his dimensional claws. The gold coated them, then sunk into the surface as if they were sponge.

“I think this is somehow the work of Akier Vil Moredo,” I said.

“Who?” He asked.

“That’s what I expected as the response,” I said. “He was this person that Kara’s old man once knew. He once traveled with the old man and the person who taught them both about the Infinity Void. They had a falling out when she died, and later on Kara told me that the old man of hers was crystallized and thrown into the Infinity Void by Akier Vil Moredo, the very same man who had different thoughts of what the Infinity Void could be.

“This is the same person who once abducted Kara’s and James’ child, Johnny, but when I asked about it a few months back, Kara didn’t know a thing, so I think he somehow found a way to erase his existence from the minds of others and used that anonymity to go about changing things. This must be his new era of the beyond, but maybe in early stages since we’re still in untethered space.”

“If that’s true,” Fyntn said. “Then he’d pose a danger to the Rahin and the Nth Goni. It would be something to rally the others behind. Even the Keir.”

“Even the Keir,” I said. “I can knock the idea of Tarne back into their minds, but I think it’s better I don’t do this now. I can just see Lila and Kara rushing into the darkness of those strange beings to rescue Tarne, but could very well just get captured.” Fyntn nodded.

“Yeah,” he said. “What do you think they are?” He looked off to the darkness of wriggling tendrils, big and small.

“It has to be void leeches,” I said. “I assume processed like shadow strands from the Garavand universe, and bundled together like a living bundle of what once was chaos, turning into this…”

“Hellish,” Kara said. “Right?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll come back. Can you tether me to this spot so I don’t have to climb up from the bottom again?” Fyntn pricked my arm with his claw and pulled a thread to the ground.

“Done.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll come back.” If there was anything left, that is. I sighed and exited.

break

I did not come back on Friday to face this threat, and the weekend was spent staying still in front of a fan. Summer was a drain on productivity to the extent of considering getting an air conditioner. I would run it in short bursts, just to be able to function in the heat, but it was a bad idea overall. It would cost me to buy it and to use it monthly. Weirdly enough, most of the hot weather that needed an AC unit fell into two to three months, so overall it would have been a great investment if I could actually get work done at home. Before the pandemic, I was able to sit in cafes with air conditioning to address the chaos roaming inside my head.

On Monday, I was back at the portable writing device, afraid to enter the library and find it gone due to my negligence. The idea of Akier finally showing up was indeterminately the climax of this, even though it always started with my loneliness and fear of trusting others. Lila was a mind like mine, only unbound, and through interacting with her I learned some valuable lessons on letting go of the past. This was all just stalling in flavored tongues rather than facing the outcome I dreaded.

I entered the library at the point in the building Fyntn tethered me to. It was strange that I was tethered in the untethered space, but there were many firsts ahead. The sky, or rather the emptiness, above looked the same. The mass of wriggling monsters of black sludgy tentacles held pattern. Lila was sprawled out naked on a recliner with sunglasses over her eyes, while Kara was nowhere to be found. I looked around for Fyntn, but the little Goni was nowhere around.

“Lila!” I shouted, and ran over, forgetting about the lack of creationism. My body felt heavy, like in my reality. There were certain kindnesses in place within the creationism of the box I came from. The main one alleviated some part of my weight so that I felt lighter in here, and even allowed me to fly and pass through objects. Now, it was gone, and I faced the truth of the matter even in here. “What are you doing?” I snapped my fingers to clothe her, but it did nothing. I kept looking at her bare breasts, feeling beast stirring in the back of my mind.

“Oh, hey, Jack,” she said. My hand ventured slowly toward her bare chest, but I saw beast influence before he could take it over and took my arm back. “It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?” I looked up to the wriggling mess in the sky and then back to Lila, now clothed.

“It isn’t,” I said. “And you know it’s not.”

“It’s absolute chaos, and I thrive in that,” Lila said, leaning forward to expose various sex toys jammed into her triangle vagina, all shifting around noiselessly. When she lowered her sunglasses, her eyes were blazing hungrily. I held eye contact as her mouth opened and a guttural moan burst out in exasperated orgasm. The devices in her back ejected onto the recliner, some falling through the plastic slats. “Oh, that felt good. Feel how wet it got.” Lila turned her back to me, and my hand moved without hesitation. The folds of skin felt familiar, softer than standard external skin. It was something of lip skin, with the looseness of a testicle pouch, but without the hair.

The surface was in fact very wet, having just finalized the point. I watched as beast moved the hand from one corner to the other in a counter-clockwise pattern. Lila’s back twitched every time he touched the bottom-most corner, and realizing so, beast rubbed his fingers in that corner with ferocity. I wanted to stop him, but I also did not want it to cease. I could feel a change in surface inside that corner, a small sphincter-like opening that secreted the transparent ooze already coating her back.

“Don’t stop,” Lila burst out, before falling silent again. When beast wriggled a pinky into the said sphincter, Lila fell forward with a scream that I could not discern between pleasure or pain. She drew breath sharply and sighed a deep shaky exhale that also shook her body. When I withdrew my hand, it was coated in the ooze. Two fingers of that very hand formed immediately and entered my mouth, still loosely controlled by beast. The taste was salty, like sweat, but tangy. Having no creationism, I wiped the remainder of the ooze on my pants to refocus.

“Where’s Kara?” I asked, and dreaded the response.

“Who?” Lila asked. I felt the stab of that question and what it meant. Kara was now inside there as well. At least Tarne was not alone, but would they even know each other behind the veil of strange monsters. How come I still remembered them?

“Kara’s… your lover,” I said. “She was your girlfriend. You had a baby with her. The baby was me, but then it wasn’t me. Then it was Tarne, who you also don’t remember. All of this is because of that.” I pointed above.

“You know,” Lila said, standing up from the recliner as it vanished from existence. “I have all these lessons I remember, but the teachers aren’t there when I try to recall them. It’s like something fucked with my mind to forget someone, and I really hate when something fucks with my mind, you know? I killed my whole universe because of it.”

“You have mentioned this, yes,” I said, smiling. Lila was getting angry, and when she got upset in the past, the best things happened. “Are you angry?”

“Yes,” she said, putting her hands out to the untethered space. I watched as pieces of darkness shot through the library walls and arrived as armor onto her body. “Nobody fucks me without my permission, especially my mind.” When her body was covered in a stalwart green-glowing silver-plated armor, her hands shifted to me.

I felt my body lighten away from the burden of reality again, as my clothes fell off. At the same time, my pudgy form edited itself to raw muscle mass, with stranger properties. It was the most obvious when my penis disappeared to be replaced with a smooth opening. When I set down beside Lila, I was clad in silver-clad armor just like her. I slipped my armored glove off and inspected that I was in fact a woman. When I looked at Lila, she held out a hand.

When our armored hands met, we pulled apart with twin swords, measuring far too long, but surprisingly light.

“Ready for this chaos!?” Lila shouted.

“Ready!” I shouted back. Lila jumped forward into a spin that sped up until she drew the sword into a humongous slash of air. The cut of green ambient air exploded out of the cut, traveling like a blade of air at the space above the library. I watched as the impact cut aside the tentacles, only to reveal a darkness with more wriggling, When I focused back to us, we were floating in the air of the library, swords at the ready. Lila had no idea what she was even fighting for, but if someone messed with her head, it had to remind her of prior life. I felt rage build inside me as well, fueled by beast, a part I had not yet made my peace with in reality.

We lunged into the darkness of wriggling monsters without mouths or eyes. If these were void leeches, they were not given any information. Instead they were used as a resource, an ore of the untethered space that Akier Vil Moredo used to create beings to help him change the systems of the afterlife.

We fought together, rage upon rage fueling our swings. I saw sweat drip from her brow, and ooze drip from her back. I was equally excited by this. Every swing of my sword through the disgusting mess of once-chaos beings stitched together by something brought me closer to bursting like a geyser of rage-filled pleasure. I felt my breath quicken, and saw Lila smile menacingly. I felt fear, and anger, and as such I did not care who watched over this ending.

I curled up into a ball for a moment, exploding my armor off my body. I was bare, naked in the air of the untethered space, surrounded by sludgy wriggling tentacles. I did not care. I shoved fingers inside myself, and masturbated to climax right then and there, flooding the space with something new. I felt my mind exploding, life anew bursting from between my legs, in the spray of moisture. I felt my reality core burst forth as my child, growing and expanding further than that of the seed of thought.

Once the orgasm passed, I opened my eyes blazing. They burned green, angry, and powerful once again. I screamed at the top of my lungs, still hovering naked and clenching every muscle in my body. With that one scream, the untethered space exploded out of darkness into a gray matter. The tentacle-stitched void leeches burst into tethers, and vanished into the emptiness. With a wave of my hand, I clothed myself, and restructured the library anew. Kara, Fyntn, Tarne, and Lila were all back together, and I chose not to address them for now. I exited. 

 

 Next Chapter

 Previous Chapter

 All Lila Chapters