Chapter 9

It was sunny on Sunday, so I ventured out in the afternoon to enjoy the little park near my apartment building. It was filled with people walking hand-in-hand, and with dogs on leashes. A few of them sat on the flimsy little folding chairs sharing food on the feeble tables as birds trotted over to peck at the scraps that fell to the ground. I sat down on one of the wobbly chairs and cracked a book reserved for those specific times in the park. All around me, other people were equally sinking into alternate worlds. My other dream was to meet someone at a break of a chapter, with a glance. We would be reading the same book, connecting our lives from that moment in a smile.

I opened the fifth book of a certain series. It dealt with the life of Mike Procket, detailing his realistic adventures from an outcast into a social butterfly, all thanks to a distant relative who turned out to be a con man. The fifth book was titled: “Cut Me Down the Middle.” By Deresanzi Mills. She was popular enough to have at least twenty fans of her work in this small park of a big city. With Mike’s “uncle” out of the picture, the best friend he met in the second book had gone off to marry a girl he met in the third book. Now Mike was facing a comical early mid-life crisis.

When I sank into the story, I paid special attention to look around at the break of each chapter, searching for my chance encounter. My sight lingered on an open field of grass where a girl with fiery hair danced in the sun. For just a moment, I could feel the blades of grass tickle my feet as if I had been dancing beside her. The soft green brushed between my toes with each turn until I snapped out of the memory. Have I ever done that? I could not place the sensation. Maybe it came from distant childhood.

After the next chapter, I glanced around again, scanning the crowd of tables for the same red-cornered cover, but there was nobody. After a few more chapters of no luck, I decided to call it a day. This hopeful event was too random, just a dream of mine, and those were often just as vague. I closed my book and started putting it away until a voice turned me around.

“Deresanzi Mills, huh?” a woman with black hair asked, standing above me while audibly chewing gum. “You like Mike? He dies in this one, you know.” A rapid heartbeat skipped my mind into a frenzy. It couldn’t be. There was no mention of it, no foreshadowing.

“No way,” I dismissed her claim. “Which chapter?”

“Third to last,” she said, with a curve of her wildly-magenta painted lips. I looked away from them, but licked my lips covertly before I realized it.

“The number, not the vague location within the book,” I said. She sat down right across from me in a dark green top and black pants. The sun was limited to what the buildings allowed, and the hue was drifting into orange.

“Fine, I was joking,” she said and kept staring. “He should have though. The series took a strange turn in this one. Why call it a mid-life crisis if he’s not going to attempt to end it?”

“It’s more like a joke,” I said. “It happened early. Best not read into it too much, just enjoy the ride. I’m Finn, by the way.” I extended my hand and we shook. Her grip was stronger than I had anticipated. After a moment that was supposed to include her response with a name, I decided to ask instead.

“And you are?”

“Not of your concern,” she said, then flashed a wedding ring on her finger. I felt stupid. It was the first thing I checked on strangers. “I do, however, know someone you know. She sent me to retrieve you. Say, does the name Fiona mean anything to you?” A searing pain arrived inside my head at the mention of that name. I could only see purple light over my recollection.

“Yeah, I figured that would happen,” the woman said, and held out a hand. Right as her fingertips touched my skin, I felt relief flooding my mind. “She’s not very good at that part, but at least you’re still alive.”

“Who’s Fiona?” I asked with a memory of yelling out her name in the forest. When my eyes opened, she was close to my face with a strange red light in her eyes. I pulled away from her kiss, but she chased my lips down and inhaled all the air inside my lungs. After that breathtaking moment, I lingered in place while she blew a light stream of air into my mouth. It tasted a bit metallic, but mostly like the bubblegum she was chewing.

“She’s your girlfriend, you dolt,” she said, leaning away. “But she’s being hunted, and tried to wipe herself from your mind. The thing about eating memories of yourself, it causes pain to both parties.” I wanted to speak, but my mouth was not responding to my brain. Nothing responded. I screamed at my body to move, but nothing happened.

“Don’t panic,” she said. “I fed you some pyl powder. Your body is now under my control. Observe. Please stand up and do twenty pushups beside the table.” My body stood, walked over to her, and completed the task. The woman waved me over and unzipped my pants to glance inside the underwear.

“Ah, what a wonderful toy you’d make,” she said, and zipped me back up. With a motion of her hand, I sat back down. “Unfortunately, Fiona wants to keep you. Horrible waste of pyl powder. I could ride you to exhaustion and see if you can make me scatter, but oh well. Come on.” She put a hand on my back and led me out of the park no matter how hard I tried to resist. I wanted to know her name, but while this pyl powder was in my system, I had no free will. I was glad to have free thought at the very least.

I searched my mind for the name Fiona along the way, but parts were blacked out by some red shroud of light, just like the woman’s eyes. Did they glow, or did I just imagine that part? Other than a few entertainment references, I could not find Fiona in my mind, but one phrase repeated inside my mind with a voice I’ve never heard before. It said: “A writer is what the written is about.” I felt as though it was said by someone I valued, but could not place it. Ever since this woman mentioned the name I’d been lost in thought. When next I could focus, we were inside a car on the highway, heading out of the city.

“Sleep,” she said. “This trip will take a while.” My eyelids drifted closed, entering the darkness of sleep. While there, I had a dream. There was a girl with blond hair living with me. We ate together, played games, read books for speed as a competition, and slept in the same bed. I had no idea who she was, but we enjoyed each other’s company. There was something missing in the routine, but I could not remember what. All of a sudden, there was a child sitting at our table with a blank expression. He looked at me, clicked his tongue and disappeared into gray smoke. Kids! That was missing from this dream. Where were my children? Did this girl not have any with me? Before I could explore the idea, I was awake.

“He’s dreaming about you, Fi,” a voice said.

“That’s not possible,” a familiar female voice said. It was her, my kidnapper. “It’s all shrouded out. He shouldn’t even be able to see her face anymore.” I felt my hand twitch. I could move again.

“Memory and the subconscious are two different beasts, Agi,” the male voice said. “You can’t wipe out dreams. It’s like they store in Zaxi-proof containers of the mind. I don’t know.”

“He remembers?” another voice asked.

“No, it’s not memories, Fi,” said the male voice. “More like specters of you, a fraction of a memory based around what he saw.”

“But, it is me,” she said. I opened my eyes a slight bit to find three people standing in a circle a few meters away from my propped-up body. One of the girls looked like the one from my dream, and the guy was a grown-up version of my child in that same dream. “He can see me. I have to feed him the lost memories.”

“No! He’s better off, Fi,” Agi said. “You have to skip into a new body anyway. They know what you look like. After that, he’ll just love this impossible girl who no longer exists. In time, he will settle for someone that resembles you and start a family. That’s how humans live, Fi. I’ve seen it thousands of times and so have you.” I had enough of their arguing. I needed to make a run for it the first chance I got. While they were busy talking, I flexed some joints gently to make sure they could actually move, but when I started getting up slowly a knife touched down at my throat.

“You move, you bleed,” a voice said from behind me. It was a bit raspy and old, but strange to my ears. “Ladies and gents, he’s awake.” They turned and the one called ‘Fi’ ran up to knock the knife away from my neck.

“Damnit, Doc,” she said. “Don’t hurt him.”

“Says the girl who wanted to bring him in to dispose of the body,” the doc person said. “Wasn’t that the plan?”

“I lied, ok?” she replied. “I’m sorry, Agi. I didn’t want to, but I got him in trouble while he was so nice to me. I think… I think I like him.”

“A human?” Agi asked. “They only live like a tiny fraction of a single enid. To us, his life is like that of a fruit fly to a human being, and yet these beings try to use their short lifespans to trap us, study us, even kill us or use our bodies as batteries.”

“So what’s a hundred years?” Fi asked. Was she the Fiona that Agi mentioned in the park? “I want to spend them with him. Maybe even put him into the experiment, make a Zaxient out of him.” The sound of “experiment” put the fear of death into me. I sprung off the table and ran to the visible door, but some sort of invisible tether reeled me right back onto Doc’s workspace.

“What are you guys?” I asked from underneath the knife again. Doc looked like a grumpy old man, but his hand did not tremble as one would expect of an older person. “What is this place? What do you want from me?” All of them looked back to this Fi person, the girl from my dream, as I struggled to look up at them from beneath the pull to the metal surface below that felt like it was embedded in my skin. She put her hands up glowing at the fingertips with familiar purple light. I was stunned at the sight of it and she walked up to touch me.

“Please,” she said with sadness on her face. I recoiled, but let her touch my hand. With a powerful rush of emotion, everything came back.

“Fiona!” I exclaimed and hugged her. Triggered by sudden motion like before, I reeled back from her onto the now-flat metal surface. “What? We were in the forest. Your hands were glowing as we fell. There was an orange light. How- Who are you?” She turned away.

“I’m sorry, Finn,” she said. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think it mattered. Then they found us, and I couldn’t let you die.”

“WHAT are you?” I asked with a scared shiver. The invisible binds reacted to sudden motions. When I moved slowly, I could actually sit up on the surface. She couldn’t be a normal human. Was she a robot, an android? I remembered the feel of her skin, her scent, and her personality. How could a robot fake that so well?

“I’m a Zaxient, or a Zaxi for short,” she said. “A being from the world of distant lights.” An alien. She was an alien. I had sex with an extraterrestrial creature. It was tough to wrap my head around it. I was in love with one.

“And… you glow?” I asked.

“Yes,” she replied, then lit her eyes in purple light. “We sort of have to, otherwise we couldn’t be called stars.

“Stars?” I asked and almost panicked. How could I possibly have been pleasuring the sun? This was a giant joke. A memory flowed into my mind of Fiona on top of the cabin, glowing intense light up into the sky from her hands. My heart was pumping so loud. This was some elaborate dream. I would wake up at any moment. I closed my eyes and tried to wake up, but it wasn’t helping.

“Finn?” Fiona asked. “Are you ok?” She was still there when my eyes opened.

“Alright, so you’re a star,” I said, giving into the fantasy. “How is it that your body is so… so…?”

“Human?” she asked, touching my cheek with her right hand. I closed my eyes and pretended we were back at my place. I could smell her skin. How was that possible if she wasn’t even real? Her lips touched mine and it felt so right. “It’s a skin.”

“A skin?” I asked with a recoil. Did they hollow people out and use them as skins? “You sound like you own more than one. Wait, does that mean you killed someone and took their skin? Or did you just take over their mind like in science fiction stories?”

“It’s synthetic,” Agi replied. “Created by Doc here.”

“It’s more of a copy, a clone of just the flesh with all human functions,” Fiona added. “In short, the attraction you feel to me on the human level is actually connecting to the human this skin came from. The fake bodies age like normal and all the paths of energy within Zaxi are connected to the nervous system. Death is our escape from the body, but to humans it’s an end. That’s why we run experiments to turn a fruit fly into a human. That is to say, to make human death be an ascension to the stars.”

“But you idiots just keep hunting us to power your weapons and survive,” Doc said. “So making Zaxients out of humans could very well destroy how they live.”

“They?” I asked. “Doc’s not…?”

“No,” Agi answered. “He's much older than the stars. Not many like him remain in the vastness of our little colony. Beyond where stars exist, only Garavand dare venture.”

“Garavand?” I asked, realizing this was too complex to be fake. My dreams were never this intricate.

“Just as we are the light in the known cluster,” Agi said. “They are the shadows that are born from our light. Ernie here is kind of a variant of one of them.”

“Not even,” the male who was in my dream said. “I happen to be a Garamant. It’s like a Halfling of Garavand and humankind. Zaxi drive me crazy, man. They want way too much and I was just looking for some peace and quiet in this solar system.”

“He’s useful,” Fiona said. “But Zaxi and Garavand have been at odds since the beginning. One feeds on the other, consider it like the relationship of a human to a mosquito. From what their collective minds tell us, Zaxient and Garavand kind used to be one at the very start, but it sounds like a bunch of lies to me. Thankfully, Ernie here isn’t a full-fledged Gavvy.” I looked between them and felt tension. Agi and Fiona were tense around him, as if he was about to betray them.

My mind was already pulsating with pain from the information overload, but I just had to know what Doc was, or what uses a Garavand could have. I wanted to know more about Fiona, even if my attraction was only to the flesh she wore. That wasn’t true. I loved her mind from before, or did she copy that, too? Was that even her real name? In the end, they could just erase my memories like before. I’d go back to looking for love on the now seemingly tiny planet in the view of Zaxient kind.

alter

So you went and got yourself impaired, huh, JJ?

“What’s it to you?” he asks. “I’m still writing your story. How are you with the fantastic make-believe?”

There is no positive way to answer that. You took a human woman who liked me, potentially even loved me, and you turned her into a clone of skin for an alien being, not to mention indulging in the “stars are people” fantasy. I’m NOT happy, JJ. I’ve told you that I wanted a simple life, but I have no freedom at all, do I?

“You have free thought,” he answers. “Not to mention the ability to speak to your creator who values your input. Isn’t that some sort of freedom? Many people go without such reach to their authors and instead take it out on the parents who created them.”

You should very well understand that there are no “sorts” of freedom, JJ. There is only one true and ultimate feeling of being able to do anything your mind dreams up. In that sense, no human can ever be free. Others put you in cages, to entertain them, to feed them, to use you at a later time. I’m sad for the life you lead under the control of your society, but don’t take it out on me.

“I gave you a chance, Finn!” he barks. “We share a mind. There was so much to choose from. You could have asked to live a quiet life in the country, raise adopted children who then leave and start their own stories I could no longer control. Trust me, Finnelgamin, I would have written that for you with joy in my heart, damn the audience, but you let me choose and so we ended up somewhere like this crazy place, in the mind of JJ REDACTED and the many creatures he created.

Bleh! Don’t ever use third person on yourself, man. It really doesn’t suit you.

“Ready to get back in?” he asks. “We’re at a bit of a crucial moment in your story.”

Yeah. Just promise me one thing, JJ.

“And what might that be?”

Promise me you’ll take care of yourself so that you can write my story to the end. I’m worried about leaving you to your own devices. They often aim to destroy you.

“They wouldn’t be my own if they didn’t,” he replies. “Fear not, my friend. Nothing will stop me from weaving your story. Oh, heh. Now would be such a perfect moment for Virtu to end my story, but I think he has other plans for me. Regardless, sorry for the mental detour.”

Be careful. You and I seem to be in a similar situation when it comes to being created by another, or at least knowing so. For now, let’s continue the story.

alter

“Finn?” it was Fiona’s voice. “Are you alright? Where did you go?” The Garamant came up again.

“Huh,” he said. “Who’s JJ?”

“Who?” I asked. The name sounded familiar, but was nowhere to be found within my mind.

“That’s all I could get from your mind at the time,” Ernie said. “It was like a second, mind you. Zaxi wouldn’t even blink twice at that insane fraction of their enids, but I pick up on those. I heard your mind pause on two letters: J and J. They were next to each other, capital, with dots to signify shortened words.” Agi slapped Ernie upside his head out of nowhere.

“Stop overanalyzing everything,” she said. “You’ll never get laid that way. Unlike me and Fiona, you have an actual body, so you must be a slave to it to some extent.”

“Didn’t stop you from kissing me, did it?” Ernie fired back with a devious grin. Agi flushed red and punched his arm. “Your human skin betrays you, Zaxi.”

“Oh, the hell with this,” Agi said, and grabbed Ernie’s collar. I thought she was getting ready to lay into him with a punch, but instead she forced a kiss. Watching the wild couple make out displaced my mind from the craziness of aliens and stars. It felt great to see these supposed enemies lock lips. Maybe their love could broker a peace.

“It was inevitable really,” Doc said, looking over at them. “It’s like forbidden love, think incest of human kind.” I cringed at the thought of Luke and Fiona in their position.

“Actually, I think it’s more like Romeo and Juliet,” I said. It wasn’t as though they were brother and sister. “Two beings with families at odds for so long. It’s a feud of the universe.”

“I meant how forbidden it is,” Doc said. “Sure, they could be like opposing factions, but really not one other being would support them in this. It’s closer to a taboo than a secret connection.”

“I’d support them, just call me the friar,” I said and looked around. “He’s the guy who helps Romeo- you know what? Nevermind. I just don’t think their connection is that taboo.”

“Forbidden pleasures,” Fiona said. Something about the way she spoke appealed to me, but I was still connected to the slab and could do nothing to hide my excitement.

“Well,” Doc said, looking directly at my crotch. “That’s my cue to leave. Things are about to get crazy. I know better than to get in the way of Zaxient kind and their releasing of energy. Fi, Agi, have fun. The goggles are in the bottom drawer by the sink.” When Fiona turned to find my exposed shame, I could see the red flush her face. Agi was already beside the drawer. She tossed a pair at Fiona and hurried to remove her blouse as Ernie undid his pants.

“In the same room?” I asked. The thought burned with excitement, but also fear that two others would be next to us in a sexual embrace.

“Don’t you want to?” Fiona asked. Her eyes were hungry and gave off a purple glow. She put my hand up against her realistic replica of a breast. I knew it was fake, but my body sure didn’t believe it. “Don’t you want this?” Her voice melted my mind. I was hers now, and yet hoped she would allow me to be with her.

“I want this,” I whispered into her ear. Her eyes pulsated purple light. It was the last thing I saw before thick darkening goggles went over my eyes. It took out an intense amount of light, to a point where I could only see darkness. Over by where Agi and Ernie were before, I saw a spot of red grow brighter. It slowly formed a naked female body floating in the air. Her eyes were bright white with flowing red tendrils as hair. I watched her descent to an eager Ernie who took immediate charge of her glowing body.

Right above my head, a purple light propagated into a female form I knew to be Fiona. As she descended, legs spread first, I found my pants still restraining my readiness. I undid them just in time as Fiona’s glowing purple body sat on my midsection with a burst of pleasure. It was warm, pulsating and vibrating lightly, as if she was humming with the opening, and yet it shook my whole body. The pulse had to be her heartbeat, if she had one. I decided to align my own rhythm to the pulses. It took a few minutes for me to realize we were both floating.

I tried to say something, but my voice was not there. It took every last ounce of strength not to give into the humming sheath and finish right away. Ernie and Agi were hovering close to us, almost getting closer. They WERE getting closer. With every pulse and thrust we came closer to them and they neared us. Ernie was being so interactive with Agi’s body, that I added more hands as well. Both Agi and Fiona held their hands out, nearing touch. A pink mix of light built up between them into a sort of orb.

“Get ready, Finn,” Fiona said with a strange echo in my ears. “Finish as we touch.” The hands drifted closer as I sped up to reach the desired timing. Just- a- few- more- times! I counted down in my mind with the thrusts. Four. Three. Two. One.

With a wave of euphoria among the warm vibrating enclosure that also pulsed with my heartbeat, my eyes closed to the rush. The explosive nature of the sensation took over my body, but when I could pry my eyelids open again, both Agi and Fiona were gone, or at least they were no longer floating above Ernie and I. Only the black goggles remained, but when I moved to take them off, a hand held them down. It glided along my skin and I could feel the hot breath speak.

“Not yet, buddy,” Ernie said as I recoiled. I was not very happy about his naked and sweaty body near me after that moment of pleasure, but we were the same right now. “That was the climax, but not the end of the show. Keep them on and look up.” I followed his instruction to find a cloud of lights above, red and purple. They were spots of lights, like little orbs or flakes, and drifted down like giant spores.

“Wow,” I whispered. “You’re a firework.” Ernie moved around the room touching red ones and catching them in his mouth. I was surprised how little he cared for his nudity. I felt shame at being naked, but it was also true freedom.

I caught a few lights of Fiona into my hands and tried to identify if consuming them would be dangerous, but shrugged and shoved them into my mouth. There was a taste, but nothing I have ever felt. It was the culmination of flavors to a perfect blend of sweet, sour, savory, and salty. The sensation of that warm light as it traveled down into my stomach invigorated me with newfound energy. Just like that, I was ready to perform again.

“Fiona?” I asked the field of scattered light orbs. A mouth formed out of the lights and got close to my ear.

“Shh,” she whispered and the mouth reformed into a hand, floating down to hold me again in that warm, pulsating and vibrating embrace. In a few minutes of her motion, the hand reformed into Fiona’s vulva, which then enclosed me in contained bliss. I no longer cared if Ernie was in the room. I could only think of how amazing it all felt. I floated in a field of lights, being pleased without end until I passed out.



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