Chapter 33 - Meeting Tarne
Weeks later, away from Lila and the untethered space, I felt distant. It started with editing, hopeful of the brutal story of death thanks to a suffering writer, but that idea relied on the deaths of characters. Soon enough into writing, I started thinking just how much I did not want them to die, and while some could enjoy the struggle, many would not enjoy this endless killing of the main characters in various strange circumstances. It was an idea, like many which lived in the void, sourced exactly there for both the portraits and the stories Harry wrote.
After that drive to edit and complete that dark story faded, I disappeared into work unrelated to writing. I was not sure how many days had passed since I left the three of them, but I missed their happiness. I wanted to recharge.
I entered the untethered space through the little room below the library again, creating a spiral staircase near the windows connecting the two. While I could just float up and through the divide, I decided to walk up, step by step. Once I reached the top, I felt the call to rest in my reality. I stood in the empty library for a moment until a sharp scream of Tarne playing emanated from upstairs. It preceded the sound of footsteps running out into the corridor and I watched as she stumbled at the top of the stairs. With a quick wave of my hand, she was upright and standing at the top of the staircase as if the fall never happened.
It felt strange, if only because I was once that child. Even though we once shared a mind, it did not link. My conscious thought and hers were different things. It was time to forgo the dream of being a different person, though one desire persisted to live a healthy life. No amount of alteration to my current living situation could grant me enough comfort to achieve the desired form. I had to change something.
“Seize the life,” Rebecca’s last words rang out in my ears again. I wanted to be angry at her for not being here, for living her own life filled with her own seizing of things, but I was tired. Sleep was calling again.
Just as Lila came up to the top of the stairs, I disappeared from sight. I still remained there, out of phase with her eyesight. My troubles were my own. No matter how much I suffered, I did not want to burden her. After all, I did not make her for the purpose of helping me. Not that such a method had worked in the past.
Lila ushered Tarne back to one of the rooms, but looked back for a moment. I had a thought that she would look through my invisibility with her creationism, but she did not. Maybe that was understanding that if I had not hid away, it would mean that I could stay longer. The ominous thought of death still lingered over me, perhaps because of the unfinished story of Harry Alger, or maybe it was just the stray thought to Rebecca that made me worried. Or another matter entirely. I left.
break
Nearly a month later, the guilt of not coming back to check on Lila and Kara overwhelmed me. The day seemed to wind around in a loop of things done and those to do. While I wanted to think the loop was smooth like a circle, it was far more resembling the Jeremy Bearimy of the proposed time cycle. In fact, nothing seemed to progress as work absorbed my thoughts. I wanted to write, and re-write stories with new ideas, but it all faded into the recollection of ideas to return to.
I was at the writing device, defeated. Nobody knew my name, or the pseudonym I hid behind, and they would not know of the ideas I connected to in the Infinity Void.
Even though this run of three part series that focused on a person of a clearly deranged mind, would not be the first of my work to reach others, I was back to it. I missed the calm place this ended up, knowing full well my world was still in absolute chaos over the disease that brought the world to its knees. Lila and Kara were currently my rock, my sanctuary of thought that centered around Tarne, whom I was no longer. I feared for them the most, still afraid of the day the library would stand empty in the darkness before it. It was, after all, infringing upon the untethered space.
I entered the library without hesitation or caution, and was immediately assaulted by a child I knew to be Tarne. “Assaulted” might have been an over-reaction, though when someone bumps into you unexpectedly, you cannot help but feel attacked. Before she fell back, I created a pillow underneath to catch her.
“Thank you,” she said politely, while scrambling up from the floor. “Mommy told me this is your house. You have a pretty house.” I wanted to correct her, but a more pressing question appeared before me.
“Who’s mommy?” I asked. I knew it would be Lila, but Kara was also involved, and thus begged the question what she was if not the named “mommy.” Tarne looked confused for a moment, the kind of confusion you would expect from a child posed a harder question than their speaking level.
“Mommy’s… mommy,” she said, with a furrowed brow of confusion. I smiled to set her at ease. The concern for answering the question melted away to a smile brighter than the sun could ever shine. Unlike the actual sun, I did not mind smiles.
“Is Kara with mommy a lot?”
“A LOT,” Tarne replied, and gestured as big as she could to indicate size. “I like playing with the plants in the garden. Uncle Robo sometimes stops by to play with me, but he’s busy.” I nodded.
“I see,” I said. “And where are mommy and Kara now? Do you know?”
“Fishies came by and talked to them,” she replied. Did she mean the Rahin? “Kara went with them, and mommy was waiting. Then mommy and Uncle Robo went off, too.”
“Are you ok staying by yourself?” I asked. “The library is quite big.”
“I am a big girl,” Tarne said with such determination that I had to smile. She was the daughter of Lila after all, raised with Kara and her badass self. I hoped they would come back soon. I would have to check in on Tarne tomorrow. On a whim, I made a pet for Tarne, a four legged pup copy of my own friend now gone. With that, I left her to get acquainted, as the lull of sleep beckoned me into another day of work.
break
I came back the next night, far too late in the night for a work night. As much as I wanted to leave the matter alone, Tarne being left by herself in the library house worried me. Maybe the real reason for my fear was Lila’s ability to now exit the untethered space. She could leave with Kara and Tarne any day without a word of notice, and I would be alone again.
Like Rebecca.
I shook my head, and in doing so arrived at the library. The space always felt like it was meant for more than just one person. In fact, the open space could handle small groups, something dating back to Tiarto’s world, back when Foradim was still young enough to host friends at his home.
“Tarne?” I asked the emptiness. No answer came. There were a few places she could be that my voice could not reach. “Taaaaarneee!” The louder version did nothing to help me locate her, but I did not want to go around looking in every part of the house. The night was taking my consciousness away bit by bit. I would find myself drifting off in a thought, then my forehead was on the bed.
Soon enough, I heard small footsteps on a wooden floor, and Tarne damn near skidded to a halt at the top of the stairs.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hi,” she responded.
“Did Kara or Li— Mommy come back yet?”
“Nope.”
“How about Mr. Barcode?”
“Who?” She asked. I tried to recall what she called him yesterday, but then just scrolled back up to check.
“Erm— Uncle Robo,” I replied. “Is Uncle Robo around?”
“He’s busy upstairs,” Tarne replied.
“I’m drifting off,” I said.
“Drifting?”
“I mean, I’m dozing off,” I said, then sighed. Kids did not understand expanded vocabulary. “I’m getting sleepy, but I’m glad that Uncle Robo is back. He was gone, right?”
“Only for a little bit,” she said. I had no idea how they counted time in the untethered space, if it was no longer tracking the calendars and clock I left behind. Kara had to have a way to do it that did not correspond to my world’s time. Maybe it had something to do with the Keir. I had no idea, and no time to debate it all without anyone to give me clear answers. I was tempted to look in on the mentioned Uncle Robo, but felt the lull of a hard day’s work within my system. I was already looking at a rough start to next morning.
“Ok,” I said. “I’ll come by again. Maybe Mommy and Kara will be back by then.”
“Ok, bye!” Tarne called from upstairs, then ran off, the sound of footsteps on the wooden floor receding into the second floor towards the attic. I was curious what he was working on. I hoped it was something fun for Tarne to play with.
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