Chapter 42 - Mediation
I came back after work, later than I intended. I wanted SOME entertainment after working all day, but it snowballed to ten at night, leaving me very little time to check in on Lila and Kara. When I entered the space, Tarne was already by my side, seemingly in the same exact spot where she was before. I wondered if she stood there silently watching as her two moms worked it out.
I inspected the cube beyond the library space without saying anything. The walls were still intact, but the bubbles inside were gone. They had special rules to only exist in conflict to distance the two women in a brawl. I had not seen Fyntn around, and I was glad he was not taking Kara’s side in the fight like before.
“Oh, hey,” Tarne said, and walked after me into the cube. It only kept Lila and Kara from passing through. They were sitting in the corners of the cube, apart. “What did you do to them, anyway? They seem so calm all of a sudden. Kara is usually very high-strung. She only unwinds when they’re in bed together after sex.”
“It’s magic from a pretty dark story,” I said. “You wouldn’t— well, actually, you might enjoy it quite a bit the way you are. Sorry. It’s hard to keep thinking of you as a grown woman.” Tarne smiled.
“I can be playful,” she said, a bit too enticingly. I felt beast turn on a replay of the session they had together on the rock in the garden, but I put a blindfold over his eyes and blipped the small screen out of existence.
“It has a lot of sex stuff, but it’s dark,” I said. “Here. You might as well have a read. Just don’t tell your moms I’m giving you explicit stuff.” Tarne blushed, visibly excited for something of a sexual nature from my mind. She took the booklet and stuffed it in the back of her pants to hide it away for later. I had to wonder if it would even excite a woman. The whole story had a misogynistic flare to it, of control over others.
“So what does that magic thing do?” She asked.
“The earrings dampen their thinking,” I said. “Think of it as a reducer of intelligence. Kara may be smart and inventive, but with the dampener on, she’s just a brooding teenager. Lila may have creationism on her side, but she wouldn’t want to use it to fight. Last time I used this, it was on someone much more out of control. I’m just hoping they get through this.” I walked up to Lila first.
“Hey, Lils,” I said. “You ok?” She shrugged.
“They aren’t cooperating,” she said, opening her hands to a battlefield of thousands of tiny beings. They were divided, about to charge into battle. She closed her hands, erasing both sides from existence in a smear of oil that evaporated into smoke. “At least they are together now.”
“Wanna talk about what went wrong with Kara?” I asked, sitting down beside her. Tarne also stepped over and sat quietly behind me.
“She said Tarne needs to feel embarrassed and wear things, and stop watching us have sex, and stop masturbating all the time, and stop having sex with her robot toy, and want to cover up when someone looks at her, and feel bad when someone touches her when she’s naked. But it’s natural, all those. I don’t get why she’s so… stubborn about it.” Lila met my eyes with a pout that almost made me burst out laughing. Tarne could not hold it in, and laughed out loud.
“She sounds— so funny,” she mustered, through her giggles.
“Let us speak to Kara, ok?” I asked. Lila nodded.
We walked over to Kara, and sat down just like with Lila, but the experience was different. Kara was punching the floor of the cube repeatedly, without real force, but obviously in a sort of anger.
“You think you’re so clever, don’t you, Jack?” Kara said, through her teeth. “Pain lessens the effect of the white thorn pacification. I know all about Ano and his stupid words of command.” I held Kara’s fists back from hitting the surface for a moment, and sat next to her as she was pacified again.
“Tell me why you’re upset with Lila,” I said. Tarne sat on the side, silently observing. Kara looked at her, and sighed, then turned back to me.
“Tarne was a girl,” Kara said. “She was a child, and she’s like me. I was actually looking forward to raising her as my own child with Lila. Then all of a sudden, we skipped all the fun child stuff when a child learns slowly, and jumped directly into self-gratification and sexuality. It’s a strain on me. I want to be sexual in private with Lila, not afraid that Tarne will watch us and masturbate to it because she’s just a loose horny monster now. I knew there would be a time for this, but Tarne isn’t even like Lila. She’s like me. When I see her naked, without a care in the world, just rubbing it out and moaning loudly, it just makes me upset.”
“See, I told you it’s about me,” Tarne said. “I didn’t ask to be a woman suddenly, but how can you feel something as amazing as an orgasm, and then go back to not being able to achieve that same pleasure? I’m afraid to lose that. Wouldn’t you be?” Tarne looked at me. I tried to imagine what it would be like to just become JJ again, unaware of sexuality entirely. It would feel less stressful, but if I knew—
“What if you don’t remember it?” I asked.
“You mean, like, erase my memory of it?” Tarne asked. “That sounds worse. It would be like this part of me, the current me, never really existed at all. All those climaxes I’ve had up until now, all the gasps of shock and pleasure would be erased. Just thinking of that chills me to the bone. The amount of heat running rampant through my body wasted alone would turn my heart to ice.”
“But you wouldn’t remember it,” I said.
“Trust me,” she said. “There would be a way to remember. Some small part of me would know that my sex drive was messed with.”
“Fine, then I have no solution here,” I said. “Can you just— I don’t know, masturbate privately, moan quietly, have sex with regard that others may not want to hear you have sex, and allow your moms the privacy they grant you for your sexploits?” Tarne put an index finger to her lips, and made a show of giving it a blowjob while holding eye contact with me. I felt beast stir, but dumped a wad of tar over him to center myself.
“I’m not letting him out right now,” I said. “We’re trying to solve this conflict between your mothers.” Tarne did not stop, and I instead made the finger ejaculate some strawberry jam for her to stop.
“Damn, that tasted amazing!” Tarne exclaimed. “What was that?”
“Strawberry jam,” I said. “Focus, please. I need to go to bed. I have work tomorrow. For the time being, could you do those things? Just to give them a try if you can? Wear clothes, masturbate privately, moan softer, have sex quieter, and stop watching your moms go at it when they get the craving to do so. Ok?”
“Only if you make my finger do that every time,” Tarne said. “Are there any more flavors?”
“Fine,” I said, waving a hand to instead produce a realistic-looking penis dildo with a suction cup, like one I had in my possession. This one, I infused with a bit of magic to produce any of the delightful flavors I had tasted in my whole life upon ejaculation. I dreamed of that sort of invention, even having it guest-star in Finnelgamin’s story, but I knew it was unlikely that such a thing would ever exist. Maybe I had to make it reality myself. I could always dip the length in one juice or flavored gel, but it would not be the same as receiving a hot burst of flavor from the tip when squeezing the balls.
“Wow, the story and a new toy,” Tarne said. “I’m eager to try them both out.”
“I’m not going to let the two of them go until tomorrow morning, so enjoy yourself for now,” I said. “But do try to practice, soft moans, privacy, and wearing clothing at all times.”
“Got it,” she said. “Thanks Jack.” She kissed my cheek leaving a spot of strawberry jam behind. I picked it up in a smudge, and tasted it. I sure wished that thing existed. I wonder what that said about me? Perhaps I just missed sucking on my fingers, and from that sucking on breasts for food. Flavored breast sucking would work too, but for some reason I felt something more rigid would work better, as you could spread the flavor over the surface, and suck on it to last longer with lesser intensity. I smiled, and shook my head at the thought, falling backwards through the cube and out of the untethered space.
break
I came back in the morning like I planned, but felt like erasing last night’s exchange from my record. It tackled the main issue Kara and Lila were having about Tarne, posing a solution more attuned to Kara’s thinking. I was like her, after all, ashamed of my body through religious and societal upbringing. No wonder I would side with the sane one, though I knew Lila had only positive intentions in letting Tarne be free. Everybody had a threshold for freedom, and it stopped at a certain point way before Lila’s. Her past was abuse, after all, elevating to become terrorism, ending her world and universe. It was a marvel that she could be this free in her thinking.
I entered the library at the front door, finding it empty again. Rather than walk over to the cube beyond the garden, I teleported there. When I arrived, it was clear something was wrong. My body moved by itself, and my vision was out.
“Jack?” A voice said inside me, or beyond my body. “You gotta look where you go before you teleport.” I ended up inside Tarne, merged with her body. With a thought, I divided myself out to stand beside her.
“Sorry,” I said, and felt something was different. I checked my body, and paused at the crotch where something was missing. “Ummm— I think we might have switched…” I pointed to my crotch. Tarne touched between her legs, instantly dropping her pants and underwear to reveal an erection.
“Whoa!” She exclaimed. “What is it doing?”
“When excited, the piece of flesh gathers blood and tightens up solid,” I explained, and ran a few fingers over the vulva between my legs to a shiver of a new sensation. It was not a planned gender swap, and thus felt more realistic. When I looked to Tarne again, she already had her hand on the erection, squeezing it. “Go easy with it. Now try pulling the skin back.” Her hand tightened lightly over the member and pulled the skin of the front back, instantly ejaculating with a look of someone just punched in the stomach.
“Holy shit!” She burst out. “It’s like a gut punch of pleasure!” She tried to keep stroking, but the erection faded for the time being. “Why’s it being lame now?”
“Male anatomy is a bit different,” I replied. I had a very strong urge to test out her part, but even a touch through fabric made me the feel moisture build. It was very sensitive. “You have to take breaks, and hold back from reaching the climax with just one stroke. It’s kinda like sailing into a storm at sea. You can ‘crest’ at any wave rocking your boat, but the waves get better the further you get. When you’re in the storm, the waves are very big, but if you crest at the wrong time, it will feel less intense. It can also happen early on, if you don’t time it to the top of a wave, it will be a disappointing orgasm.”
“That’s cool,” Tarne said, still playing with the limp piece of flesh. On curiosity, she flicked a finger over the testicles, and instantly fell to her knees in pain. “What was THAT?!”
“The pain of it all,” I replied. “The things that produce life, are also fragile.”
“Why aren’t they inside?”
“They need to stay at a certain temperature to be viable,” I explained. “The pouch of flesh that holds them can hold them closer to the body or swing away depending on the temperature. Here, let’s switch back.” I snapped my fingers, switching our genitals to normal.
“Something for something, I guess,” Tarne said. “I didn’t know men had it so different. Rob isn’t much of a guy. I mean— He’s a sex robot. He doesn’t have human feelings and weaknesses. Not to mention that I kinda know that you were once meant to be me, or wanted to be like me.” I raised my eyebrows.
“You do?”
“The memories of it sorta come back to you in dreams,” Tarne said. “When I was away from consciousness— I mean when you were… me. I wasn’t paying attention to it, but I was there, in the back of your mind. When you have a moment to reflect— which is what I guess dreams are, you find things about yourself.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I wanted to be you, but first I wanted to die. Lila saved me from that, and gave birth to me, but it wasn’t me. Or... maybe I wasn’t me at that point anymore, all centered around this space, the unmaking of all the most chaotic things.” Tarne came up and hugged me.
“We are one,” she said. “Anytime you need me, anytime you want to feel what I feel, or just play with me with beast on your back, know that I’m here.”
“And that’s the issue,” I said. “This structure of sticks and stones in the darkness is an upset to those who use those sticks and stones to build universes. I fear what might become of you, but I do hope they let you into the Nth Infinity. Maybe you can have some sort of life there.” Tarne pushed us apart and rested her head on my chest. I guess there was a plus to being tall, even if just the one.
“Should we leave them be for now?” Tarne asked.
“I did come back to free them from the white thorn, but I fear they might still fight,” I said. “Maybe just one more day.” I patted Tarne’s shoulder, then jumped backward out of the space.
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