A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I came back at the end of the day. After checking in on Rebecca, who was sleeping on the hammock outside, I created a form and entered the house to find the terrible trio, my mind of the past. For them, time stood still. In fact, time was still frozen around the house. The clock on the wall wasn’t ticking time anymore. It felt calming to be outside of time, even if only in my mind. This was a space where I could pretend I had no expiration date, there was nothing to keep me disciplined. I had no age, no rules to follow with regards to time. And yet, this escape was only created TO escape the predicament of Finnelgamin. I needed JJ to figure out how to get rid of him. Before that, a predicament of the outside world pulled me away once again. break At the start of a new day, I came back to an opportune spot of the real world, and yet the surroundings seemed to be screaming at me not to do this. I could only turn up my music and proceed into the place where time stood still, where the l...

When I returned the following day, Rebecca was sitting on the couch in her brand new living room, holding the ukulele in playing position, but making no sound. Before saying anything, I created myself a form and knocked at the entrance to the living room. In realization of my visit, Rebecca jumped up and nearly tackled me to the ground with a hug. I wasn’t sure where she got the idea that hugging was something to do when happy. It could have been my personality seeping through, but I avoided physical contact in real life. Maybe I created my form too real for her, and the comfort of warmth and skin contact was obvious to her. “Hi, Rebecca,” I said. “I’m sorry I’ve been away for a few days.” She squeezed tighter. “It’s ok,” she said. “You must have been working on all of this somehow, this beautiful place. I’m so happy for this gift, Jack, and I have many questions.” We parted as I watched her eyes reflecting daylight pouring in. It made her ever more beautiful. Surprisingly enough, be...

Notebook 1 “This is stupid, isn’t it?” I asked of something without form. #For now,# I thought. It had no voice, no thought. I sought a shell in the void, something, someone who could be what I needed. Was it human? I’ve told myself many times that I had no need for someone like me, to like me, be with me. They would only be in danger by association, prey to the beast lurking within my mind. No. This was different. My mind did not fracture to contain it. It would not be within my head, only reach my mind once in a while for my betterment. I sought salvation from the void, help from something, someone that I could not hurt as I am. Before long, I heard something in the dark. “Hello?” It asked, a voice of no discernible source, of no discernible gender. “Is someone there?” I hesitated at the response, surprised to hear someone answer my call. It was MY call that brought it here. I had to say something. “Hello,” I said. “I am here.” “What is this?” It asked. “Where am I? How did ...

As soon as I entered that V-scape, a message popped up to greet me from the only person I’ve met there, Ledeon. As it had been upwards of a year since I'd last been in contact with him, it was a surprise. “Wow,” he said in the message. “You haven’t been on at all since I met you. I take it you didn’t like the Dark World?” A prompt popped up to reply, but I hesitated. When my eyes focused on the reply prompt, a text box popped open. It was speech recognition in the highest of forms. “I did,” I said, to myself in the middle of the town to compose a reply. “I was just dealing with a lot at home. A friend just had a baby, and this might be the last time I’m ever in this place. Honestly, I don’t even know what I’m doing here.” “Huh,” he replied. I expected more, but he didn’t send anything else until I was half of the way to the next town. With the green filter, the gray environment looked desolate, but beautiful. “Send me your location. I’ll show you the coolest parts of this V-scape b...