Chapter 6

It was a few weeks later that I saw Fiona again, though we spoke on the phone often and texted when too tired to speak. I learned about her past a bit more. She spent her youth upstate, where her old house still remained. The one that claimed her parents’ lives was in the suburbs, after they left behind the forest home. She enjoyed going back into the wilderness to revisit memories of the past. Luke was the only reason she did not want me to come over. There was no telling how he would react to my being close to Fiona. She was afraid that he would think he’d been replaced and lash out. She spent a lot of time worrying as his caretaker.

That time spent apart only got us closer together, almost dangerously close. She wrote for me, both erotica quick-fire texts and serious ideas of the world underlined by comedy. I was getting to know her mind by this divide, and she got to know mine. I told her my fears, or at least the few I was aware of, and she confided in me about a few past events that shaped what she was now.

When Fiona was five, her uncle kidnapped her from the home upstate. She was at odds with forced adulthood and retaliated by joining her mom’s brother Frank on a long drive south to the shores of the ocean. The getaway was pleasant, and tortured her parents. After they were found, Frank was shunned from the family and Fiona blamed herself. When the distant uncle became the only family left, she realized how different he became without family around him. He was no longer the happy and fun individual. It hurt to be around him after reconnecting, and Fiona decided to leave him rather than have him a part of her life again. That experience tightened the bond to her brother. Fiona never wanted Luke to waste away like Frank.

In turn, I told her about my romantic past and the funny embarrassing moments she could source for her writing. At the end of those weeks apart, she was the one who suggested a meet-up. I tried to get her interested, but it had to be her choice.

“Want to come over this weekend?” she texted. It was a Thursday, close to a month after we danced in the park for a second time. I was still at work.

“What about Luke?” I texted in response. “Won’t he be uneasy with me there?”

“Don’t worry. He found himself a girlfriend and boy are they going at it almost every night.” I was taken aback. Her brother was getting more than I was of late.

“Luke has a girlfriend?” I texted.

“Don’t sound so surprised. She’s on the pill. Precautions are in place.” She replied.

“Is she… you know…?”

“Like him? No. She’s a friend of mine from school. I introduced him, then walked in on them kissing with hands-on action. Now she keeps sleeping over. I think it’s time to retaliate a tad. What do you think?”

I froze at the question. This was uncharted waters for us, and I had to proceed with caution rather than jump the gift shark in the mouth. I typed in a message, but erased it. When I did it again, she broke through the surface like a siren.

“In no uncertain terms, I meant sex, Finn,” she texted. When I read it over, I had to re-read it a few more times to make sure it was real. Fiona started to type again, but I responded first.

“I’d love to come over.” I said. She erased her message, and started typing another. It was going to be difficult focusing on work tomorrow.

“Bring wine. Red. Nothing fancy.”

“You got it. See you Saturday?”

“Friday night, 8pm. Let’s have a game night as foreplay.”

“Getting inspired for a new story?”

“See you tomorrow, Finn.”

alter

Aww, come on! Don’t stop the story there, JJ I’m on the edge of my seat for this, and many other positions from your mind.

“I don’t think this part needs to be made public, Finn,” he says, but what he really wants to say is that he’s afraid of depicting it wrong. He’s limited in the field and I don’t even understand why he let me say all this. Did he stop being afraid of me, or does he mean to edit this part of the story out? JJ?

“I’m hiding enough things from everyone,” he says. “Say all you want. Destroy me if you want to. Save for some of the plot, my mind is your home. Consider that mysterious corner to be my room and workspace where you originated.”

Well, then how will I ever have sex with Fiona if you never put it to paper?

“I can give you that freedom in my mind, but it will never be private. I hope you realize that.”

Fine, but make it good, and drop hints of what happens behind closed doors later in the story. I want to be in her embrace, not in your damn Infinity Void. I’m sensing a time jump, but I hope it won’t be too far. Will it? JJ? He went off to his private space. Robot is easy to control, but fades and powers down.

I guess… This is… Fio…

break

alter

In the morning after my visit to Fiona’s place, I woke up to unfamiliar surroundings. She was already up, looking out of the window with just my shirt on. It was more like a nightgown on her, and I could see her naked silhouette thanks to the light from the outside. She must have known it already, but she was being very cliché standing there in my shirt at the window the morning after. I smiled and thought back to the surprise yesterday. Fiona’s friend from school who dated Luke was someone I already knew.

“You’re so cliché,” I said, and closed my eyes to picture her turn around with a smile on her face. Rather than coming up to kiss me, Fiona threw the covers up and jumped on top of me. Her hands held my face down to steal a heavy kiss.

“People like clichés,” she said. “Oh! There you are. Male bodies are predictable.” Her hands glided down my chest to grow my anticipation. All of a sudden, the door to the bedroom burst open as Luke walked right in.

“Fi, I’m hungry,” he said, as Fiona scrambled covering herself up. I flipped in a panic to lay on my stomach as there was nothing to cover myself with. After a night of fun, the bedding was all over the place.

“Luke!” she shouted. “I told you to knock! Always!” She pushed him out of the room and closed the door. I flipped back up and gathered my clothes from around the room to get dressed. Their conversation continued right outside the door.

“We could have been naked!” Fiona argued.

“He was,” Luke replied. “I’m bigger than him.” I could almost picture that goofy smile of his. Parts of Fiona’s brother were basic, but he lacked the restraint others acquired in life. I wished him well, but figured this was bound to happen again.

“Morning Luke,” I said, opening the door. “You hungry? Fiona?” She smiled at my positive attitude and kissed my cheek.

“My man!” Luke said, raising a hand to high-five. I knew from last night that if not high-fived, Luke kept the hand up until someone responded to it. I slapped it lightly. He did this way too often.

“Scrambled? How many eggs?” I asked.

“Five!” Luke responded far too eager.

“Just make three for him,” Fiona said. “I’ll have two. On the door. Top shelf.”

“Thanks,” I said, heading off into the kitchen. The woman moaning loudly from Luke’s room last night was already there making coffee. “Good call. I’m making eggs. Want some?”

“No, thanks, I’m vegan,” Monika said. The woman who I met on the same day as Fiona was not only her friend from school, but also Luke’s girlfriend. It felt too close for comfort, given she asked me to call her. “How do you want your coffee?”

“Black, two sugars,” I replied. I was still bare-chested and got a bit self-conscious about my body in front of a semi-stranger. “Sorry. Fiona’s wearing my shirt.”

“No worries,” Mon replied. “Sorry if we were a bit loud. Luke is… Well, TMI, right?” She smiled.

“I don’t actually know much about him,” I said. “Was he born the way he is, or was there an accident?”

“I, uhh…” she stumbled on the response. “Probably better ask Fiona about that.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry for putting you on the spot,” I said. “So you know her from school? What are the odds we bump into each other like that?” Monika’s gaze faded emotion and remained still.

“One in two-hundred eighty-thousand, five-hundred forty-two,” she said, and twitched as her eyes glazed back over. “Whoa, sorry. I just went into work mode for a second there. Coffee’s usually the trigger for it.”

“That’s pretty cool,” I said. Playing out the odds in your head had to be difficult. Even harder was containing it all the time except for work.

“Here, Finn,” Fiona said, walking in fully dressed with my shirt folded up in her hands. I slipped it on and got back to frying the eggs. The morning continued calmly until Luke started doing something to Monika under the table that made her giggle.

“I need a shower,” she stood up all of a sudden with the announcement. After she left, Luke stood up the same, but didn’t even make an excuse, as he followed her into the bathroom.

“Are they always like that?” I asked. Fiona sighed.

“Well, Moni’s always been open about her sex life,” she replied. “So I just got used to her when we shared a room in college. Luke just doesn’t seem to care, but he’s better off having someone. It keeps him level, and at least I know Moni means well.” I had to ask.

“So, what’s with Luke anyway?” I asked hoping she would not be offended. “Was there an accident or was he born that way? I’m just curious.” Monika’s sighs of pleasure became audible over the rush of water as we both looked toward the bathroom for a moment.

“He’s not from this universe,” she said with a smile. “The story is that he was born this way, but how else would he exist in our universe? That’s what I’m writing for him, a story of where he came from. He’s not so bad once you get to know him, even sweet sometimes. Not to mention that he does some hilarious stuff at random.”

“You care about him a lot, huh?”

“Of course. He’s my big brother,” Fiona said. “Sounds like they’re about done in there. Wanna take a shower with me?”

“Do I ever?” I said, pumping eagerness into my voice. We finished eating just as Luke walked naked into the kitchen dripping water with every step.

“See? Bigger,” he said in my direction. Fiona was already running up with a towel to cover him up. I couldn’t help myself and burst out laughing. Fiona joined in as we became incapacitated by laughter. As if nothing happened, Luke walked back into the bathroom while we recovered. I grabbed a few paper towels and helped Fiona clean up while still chuckling.

“You know,” I said. “He’s like a child at times. Though you can’t have children, you’re already living with one.” Fiona frowned a bit.

“Yeah, but the point of children is that genetics are passed on so they outlive you,” she said. “I’ve wanted a child of my own for my whole life. He’s writing a story that challenges me.”

“Who?” I asked. “A story?”

“My writer,” she said. “Well, it’s just a little belief, but we’re all just stories, so we have authors.” I felt a burning thought swim around my brain. Did I have a writer, too?

“Interesting,” I said.

“Ahh, sorry,” she said, looking at the face I made. “I didn’t mean for you to start questioning your life. We should live in the moment rather than try to figure out the future and make more sense of the past. Finn?”

“I have this nagging feeling that your theory has some merit,” I replied. “But I don’t care. If anyone is writing this rather than living their own life, then it must be a very sad sap.” I heard the water stop falling in the bathroom. “Oh. They’re done. Come on, it’s our turn.”

alter

Ha! Even when I don’t remember that you exist, I tell you off. You must have a terrible opinion of yourself for that to happen, or are you trying to say that characters who believe in their writers are already writers themselves?

“I have no opinion on the matter,” he says. “I only write what I see, what is forced into my mind when I close my eyes.”

And me?

“You’re a little different,” he says. “Your existence came from an idea, and that originated within me, and yet it felt like you came from the void, being forced upon me.”

Are you saying you didn’t want me?

“Not at first,” he says. “I was afraid of you at the start of this. Who wouldn’t be? When a human is afraid of something, we name it, try to understand it, make peace with it. So I gave you a name, a voice, and you became who you are now.”

Up until you kill me. I know I can’t live forever, though I might, in your mind, in memory, but they won’t understand who I was, will they? I pointed at you from the page.

“If anyone ever reads this,” he says. “I will have gone insane and they will know all about it. All I need is paper, and a pen with endless ink. I just want to write, Finnelgamin.”

I know. How about we get back into it? You have a story to weave, and I, one to live out.

“You’re accepting this rather well,” he says.

You gave me life and Fiona. I’m grateful above anything else, but I know you’re planning something to pump drama into my story. Take this thanks for now, and know I will be upset when the time comes for me to be so.

“Understood.”

alter

Following that one night, Fiona and I met up on a number of occasions, some out in the city and some at our places. While we progressed into a stable relationship, Monika was playing the naughty nanny to Luke. She didn’t seem to mind, but her job kept her away sometimes, meaning it kept Fiona away from me. Just as with a child around, being around him and Fiona at the same time degraded the possibility of sexy time. After a bit of this situation, Luke was getting on my nerves. He may have acted like a child at times, but sometimes he was just a guy with boundary issues.

“I think we need to find a better job for Moni,” I suggested one night staying over. I wanted Fiona so badly, but knew Luke could rush in at any semblance of sound to either high-five or just gape. Most times, we had to wait until he fell asleep, and even then keep very quiet. “She’s here progressively less. Sorry, but Luke is getting on my nerves.” Fiona sighed and slipped a hand under the covers. Her hand found me so eager and lost no time to excite further. She spoke while doing this, but my ears found it hard to listen.

“I know,” she said. “… my nerves too, you… Moni…”

“What?” I asked. The hand stopped moving and tightened.

“I said that asking Moni to change her job might be going too far,” she said and continued stroking.

“Then maybe we should…” I said and stopped when she sped up. I needed this, and that was the limit of our interaction of late. With a flood of pleasure, I sighed a hot breath of thanks on her neck. “Maybe we should find Luke a nanny.”

“Tried that a few times,” she replied, sanitizing her hands. “Each time I came back to the nanny in various stages of nudity or having sex with him. It’s like he has some power over women, but I don’t get it.”

“Then how about a nanny where that thing is implied?”

“You want to hire an escort for my brother?” She asked, lifting the covers to indicate her turn. I smiled and slipped below. She kept quiet, but after a few times of failing to do so at the very end, she started gagging herself to silence that final wave.

“Only if Monika gives us the go-ahead,” I said from beneath the covers. “Or she can change her job. Something’s gotta give.”

“I think…” Fiona started, but stopped as I touched down with my lips. “Hold on, gag.” Soon after, her legs bent to cross over my back to signal me that she was ready. Even though this type of pleasure trade-off was our limit with Luke around, it had some interesting variants and the added excitement of secrecy.

After this dance, we’d lay in bed to reflect on the sensations we experienced. Fiona looked in her element while gagged. This exploration of secrecy around Luke was great material for her works.

“I love you,” I said, then kissed her neck. “Maybe we should get our own place and have Luke stay with Moni.”

“That won’t work,” she said. “He needs constant attention, and she’d be at work. When I have to come in, I leave him in the house, but I have come back to some pretty insane happenings while at my new job. I’m sorry, Finn, but we come as a package deal.”

“Well, we could just be less ashamed of getting intimate,” I suggested. “Let him hear us. Let him watch. You think he’d try to join in?”

“That’s going too far, lover,” she said. “I may write about incest, but I don’t condone it. Single children can never understand what it is to have a sibling.”

“The great taboo,” I said. “Well, if not that, then we should get away for a bit. After Monika’s next case, tell her to take a week off for vacation so we can go upstate and rent out a cabin, or even stay at your old house. I need some time alone with you. I miss the way you sound when you’re able to express pleasure.” She put a hand on my chest and turned toward me smiling.

“I’ll speak to Moni about it,” she said. “But don’t get your hopes up just yet. Ok?”

“If anyone could convince her, it would be you,” I said. “After all, you convinced her to les-out with you once, and she didn’t even show any interest in that before.”

“Shush up,” Fiona said. “Monika can’t know I told you about it. She’d kill me. Besides, it was college. Everyone experiments.”

“I sure missed the memo,” I said. “But I’m catching up.”



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