Chapter 66 - Is This A Happy Ending?
Having just reread a part of the story where Fyntn discussed his place in the ivy, I came back to the library weeks later. I did not feel like coming back since everything was ok now. There was no reason to continue, except when the Rahin returned to change something. Over the weeks spent away, I had grown sad and angry about some things in my life, and the growing disaster of the virus variants plaguing the world into a subjugated populace. Those who were meant to protect us, have given up trying. This was the time for an endemic survival of the fittest.
The second I stepped foot in that empty space, I did not want to stay. I could only burden them with the way I was feeling. I wanted to let beast run loose, let JJ have fun unburdened by limits of time and money. I had no place to let rage burn out of me. I had no time to play around. Kara, Lila, and Tarne, did not need that depressing mindset around right now. I would have to find a way to rage and play before coming back.
break
I had been away from the library for weeks while I wrote a story of a purgatory sort of place that a girl got mixed up in (New Hire In The Deeps). I wrote it from her point of view, but feared I set her up as too much of a tomboy. Rather than return, I wanted to keep creating new things, writing, editing, mixing music in with the whole bright future I saw whenever I explored a recorded idea from the ivy. And yet, here I was again.
I wanted to talk to Lila, Kara, and Tarne about myself. My troubles felt the most important in my world, but as soon as I entered the world where I had creationism, those worries and problems melted to the background. It was healing to have that space, but I was procrastinating on exploring the pain. Some amount of pain had to happen or I would not grow out of the pot of mediocrity. I hated thinking that, but I had to set myself above others in my own mind to compete against the world that thrived on competitive natures.
I had stuff to say, even if not exactly mine. Nothing was owned, just borrowed on the idea, all sourced from the ivy, even if most people had no understanding of it. Who would? To say so was to say the world was dead, that everything that could be already was, and we were just hovering in a sort of purgatory throughout life until death to become part of the future that was just a giant emptiness filled with lessons of life condensed into gemstones to light the darkness.
I shook those thoughts off, and stepped into the library. The main room was empty, towering high to a ceiling supported on the pillars at the walls. I almost forgot how small I felt in large spaces. Living in the big city, everything here was too small for me. Lobbies of big buildings towered equally, but had a very visitorial quality to them. You did not live in a building’s lobby, only passed through it.
“Jack,” a voice from the second floor said. I turned to find Lila smiling. “You’ve been away for a while.” She jumped over the top railing and descended the air like stairs directly to me. Each time her bare foot touched down, the air froze in place at the touch. Her creationism was incredibly fine-tuned. As she took the last step, I cleared my throat to make a spot of ice there so that she slipped from her intimidating walk. When she did, I was there to catch her before she hit the ground.
“Hey,” I said. “Aren’t you glad I stopped by?” She smiled with a twinge of disbelief. I tilted her back up to hug her.
“That’s a very bad way of saying that you missed me,” she said.
“Not to mention dangerous,” a voice said from behind me. Kara stood in the doorway to the garden with a grimace. I was embracing the woman she loved, after all. My head reeled for a moment of the whole path of events that happened which led to her giving up memories of what existed within Tarne. I closed my eyes to dispel the stressful reminder of things I did to preserve her happiness.
“Nice to see you too, Kara,” I said, parting from the hug, then launched her at Kara. Lila laughed as she landed gracefully in Kara’s arms. “How’s Tarne?”
“Teenage,” Kara replied. “All she does is shut herself up in her room and listen to loud music.” I smiled, seeing as I devolved a bit with my recent back issues. I grew angry, seeking angry music to fill my ears in between work and home. I felt like I was young again, but my body was there to remind me that was not so.
“Sounds about right,” I said. “At least she’s not… You know.”
“Oh, I’m sure she is,” Lila said. “Why wouldn’t she masturbate? It's a natural prelude to sexual intercourse. I even had this idea to make her this robot boyfriend that she can use for sex whenever she wants.” I felt a shiver of alternate reality bleeding through for a moment with spikes of ice on my neck. “But Kara talked me out of it.”
“That’s right,” Kara said. “Not that it will stop her from doing something just like it by her own creationism soon enough. I mean, why do the thing yourself, when you can just create a sentient levitating dildo that can do it for you.”
“Ooo, or maybe like a pillow pet that does the rubbing for her,” Lila said. “Kara told me about the ways she used to do it once, so I could be more versed when talking to Tarne about it. The pillow is very interesting, since I did the same with couch cushions. Having the space between your legs that you can run the pillow through is interesting.”
“Have you tried it out?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” She asked quizzically. I met Kara’s eyes with a smirk, and motioned my hand to change Lila’s body into my human type. While she was in my space, she could derive the same pleasure from this form as she did from her standard. Lila’s eyes opened with surprise as her hand found the sensitive spot between her legs that Kara had from birth. She unbuttoned her pants and slipped her underwear to expose the change in anatomy to Kara.
“How?” Lila asked. “You know what, never mind. Come on, Kay, we gotta try this out right now.” Kara looked flabbergasted, I would say almost horny. Maybe she experimented with women with similar features throughout her life. This was her chance to have that sort of connection with Lila. I made myself invisible, just before Kara turned to me with an angry look. I would get scolded for doing something like that to the woman she loved, but when her eyes found nothing there, a blush graced her cheeks. Lila pulled her along into the garden, and I was really itching to follow them because of beast, but only nodded and exited the library.
break
I came back a few weeks later, time spent writing some mellow stories that were meant for younger audiences of varying ages under a new moniker. I had no plans to publish anything, just wanted to write stories out and imagine them being read by younger minds. Most of them focused on a young girl following her dreams despite being difficult and dangerous. Maybe it was not the best angle to the stories, but bravery was a tricky thing to nail down for younger audiences.
I entered the library to a very loud door slam upstairs. I looked around to find Kara sitting on the couch with Lila, holding hands. I almost just smiled and left, but when Lila noticed me she jumped up and ran to hug me. I would be lying if I said I did not miss that. Where I was in life right now, hugs were few and far between. Even if this was a hug purely consisting of a bit of brain liquid hugging another part of brain liquid thanks to electrical input, I was happy.
“I see Tarne’s a moody teenager now,” I said.
“Yeah,” Lila said, smiling when we stepped apart. “She’s got those mood swings I know nothing about. Kara says that it happens only sometimes when you’re in a place that can track time, but seeing as she was five years old just a few months ago of your time, I think we can rule out steady time progression.”
“Maybe she needs to be in a timed place,” I suggested. “Kara can take both of you into a world that has calendars and time-counting, right?”
“Well,” Kara said, turning to recline on the whole couch. “There is the issue of Rahin not deciding what to do about Tarne yet. They don’t really work on a timeline either, so we could be waiting for that to happen for a while. Or it might happen any second. I’ve had JamesBot check with them thanks to all the clones of my younger self out in the Infinity Void.”
“You think they are still meeting up with young James Denizen and getting into all sorts of hijinks?” I asked, excited to maybe expand James’ story of adventures through the many worlds before and after he met me while I was with Rebecca. I could edit it to be more digestible than his original journal that reached me when he visited my world.
“Of course,” Kara said, then closed her eyes for a moment. “In fact, a few are having sex right now. The bad thing about having clones made is also the good thing. You become a collective mind, kinda like the Garavand, but less punishing. The connection is always there when you look for it, but if you stop thinking about it, you’re just one person.”
“You’re really amazing, Kara,” I said. “I’m just happy I caught onto your message to all worlds when you were starting the journey of taking after your old man.” Kara picked up a pillow and covered her face.
“Don’t remind me of that,” She mumbled through the cloth and stuffing. “It was so embarrassing. I don’t know why I even thought talking into the void was a good idea. I caused more trouble than I thought. I had to meet with Rahin and the Nth Goni after that. That’s kinda how I met Lila, so I’m glad.”
“Aww, really?” Lila said, while cozying up next to Kara on the couch. Her blush was perfectly placed alongside a smile. Kara on the other hand was possibly still recalling the embarrassment of addressing the whole ivy, only to have the forces at work request audiences. “Well I love you, too, Kara.”
“Love is such a through-the-mud concept,” she replied. “But yes, I love you.” They kissed and started shifting around on the couch for a few seconds. At first I did not understand, but when beast burst from the cage and urged me to get closer, I had my “aha” moment. I motioned to have Lila shift back to her regular body, and found Kara’s hands already penetrating the lower back Yoni through the sky blue shirt. She met my eyes for a moment while kissing Lila’s neck. The look spoke volumes of “go away”. I put my hands up in defense and nodded. With a skip backward, I vanished into smoke while beast snapped a mental photo of the two of them getting it on.
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