Chapter 11

With food in hand, Fiona and I sat on the couch watching TV. My body was refueling. Soon, this closeness to her body, or at least her human skin, would be too much to resist. The only thing in the way of this was the fact that we were lab rats for Doc’s experiment. I wondered if he set up cameras in the whole apartment before giving it to us. It took Fiona a minute to notice that I was absent from the moment.

“Feeling trapped?” she asked. “Doc didn’t consider your human mind. If you feel forced, we don’t have to go through with it.”

“No, I want to do this,” I replied. “I’m just worried that we might be on the run while you’re pregnant. Even when not on the run, we’d be cooped up in a place like this, living as prisoners for ten months. I know that’s nothing for you, but that would be rough on me.”

“Don’t worry,” she said, and kissed me with the flavor of curry still on her lips. I had no idea why that did it for me, but I felt myself harden at the ready. Maybe it was due to some exotic memories from my past. At the age of nineteen, I traveled around the world for a year to places of sun-toned skin and amazing food. While now it felt like a pleasant blur of sex with strangers, I picked up a few new flavor palettes that reacted inside me ever since. Something within me triggered the taste of curry with flooding excitement. It needed a release or my mind would explode. I watched as Fiona licked her lips and wanted to be her tongue, gliding over every single ridge of the opening.

“Do you even enjoy yourself without that thing you and Agi did?” I asked, trying to remember what she called it. “Scattering?”

“Didn’t I tell you?” she asked, and glided a hand on my neck. The pressure in my pants was building. “My Zaxient internal structure is connected to the human skin. I get pleasure from it, I just can’t quite reach the big bang that I do from a scatter. But since Doc installed the new part, I figure we’d have to go back to regular sex.” I didn’t need to hold myself back as I put my hand over hers and moved both to the throbbing containment of pain. I could see the desire in her eyes, then a small purple fire appeared inside each black pupil.

Without a word, she undid my pants and slipped her hand around the erection as I gasped softly at her touch. The grip was tight, while her mouth sucked on my earlobe. The sensation was different, but I took it as a challenge.

“My turn,” I managed, while straining to hold back sighs of enjoyment. I reached my hand into her jeans, still tight around her waist. A slight shudder moved over her body when I reached the desired opening. While we moved our hands on the couch doing our best to keep quiet, a loud moan burst out from the other room. It was Agi, and she was not hiding her pleasure. In my explosive mind, I shed all shame and put my lips to her ear. “Moan.” Her hand was hot over my stone pillar, sliding on the now slick surface. The loud moan took me by surprise, bringing me so close to the craved release, but I roared against it and held myself back. There was only one place I would let myself release into.

“Heat, heat, heat!” I said, as Fiona’s heat intensified at the grip.

“Sorry!” she said, fading it a little. “I got carried away with the stroking motion. Do you want me to talk dirty? Make your mind all filthy?”

“I want…” I said, speeding up with my hand though I had no way of knowing if she could even climax. In one instant, I flipped her over so that she was beneath my body. “You.” I paused to find her eyes still blazing purple fire.

“What is it?” Fiona asked.

“It feels like I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.” She rose up with a wicked smile and kissed me, sucking out all the air in my lungs. Though her jeans were unbuttoned, they remained on. She tore at my shirt as I slipped her pants down and pushed her shirt up to expose her perky nipples. I just wanted to suck on them like the child I once was. While still stone hard, I did my best to hold back until I could take no more.

“It’s time,” I whispered, rubbing my thumb over her clit again. The fingers at the opening would guide me inside. “Let me in before I explode.” I tugged at her jeans around her knees and slipped them off entirely with great effort. I was now at the opening, the vulva of fire and the uterus of depths unknown. My nose touched her sensitive bean of nerve endings as she pressed up against my face. My tongue had a mind of its own, preparing the opening for the granite column burning with a bodily heat of passion.

“Split me apart!” Fiona called out, grinding against my face. I could taste her, smell her, feel the heat. I pulled her legs apart without a flicker of hesitation and guided the tip of my erect penis into the open slot. Inside, the sensation of touch upon the surface of the length multiplied a hundredfold. I’d been here before, but this felt so different, so hot, and perfect.

My hips thrust deeper, pushing restraint to a new height. One of my hands was at her clit, stimulating her to a possible orgasm while guiding myself back in if I dared pull out too far. My other hand was at her neck, holding close so that I could feel her hot breath on my skin and hear her moans of pleasure. Her skin was glossy with sweat and so beautiful that it overtook me.

“I’m close,” I managed to breathe hot air into her ear and her hand locked my neck to look directly into her eyes. We were locked in a gaze as she sped up her hip flexes against my length to make me explode. My hand grasped the skin on her back when I felt it coming. With a scream and roar, I pushed one last time and brought her breasts to my chest to share our heat at the intense climax. There was no defining the euphoria, the feverish assurance of knowing that my life-giving production was not going to waste, that what I produced in the heat of that moment would live on as a separate entity.

One moment I was in the room, holding the final thrust as deep as I could within Fiona, the next I drifted in space, locked with her at our hips. I didn’t want to pull apart, pull myself out of there, but it had to happen. I withdrew slightly, but Fiona’s hands pushed me back in by the buttocks.

“Just a bit longer,” she said, clinging onto my sweaty skin. We kissed and remained there for a moment as one being. In a few minutes, the erection I was so proud of slipped out of her brand new chamber as a floppy piece of flesh. Though she was always full of energy, I was spent. I could not clean myself up or get dressed, only fade off to sleep to recuperate.

alter

Wow. I- Thank you, JJ. I will re-play that memory over and over. I bet you were entertained as well. If this part is cut out in the edits, know that I hope others get off to that scene; that they masturbate to that explosive copulation between a star and a human. Go on, JJ, go do it. I know you want to. You can’t help but put yourself into scenes you write. Make it special, use some toys, watch some porn, have a nice climax for you gave me a perfect one.

“You might imagine many reasons that this part will be omitted in the editing,” he says.

It’s society that puts you in this box, JJ, but have it your way. You gave me something I wanted, so I’ll give you something in return.

“What can you possibly give me?” he asks. “You live in my mind.”

A piece of mind, like a piece of land where I live. I suppose it means I will no longer be in there, and it might get lonely, but know that all you need to do is reach out beyond the Infinity Void, beyond your head. Others are just as alone as you and they are just as afraid to seek friends for fear of parting ways. In short, I surrender myself to you and your story, an artificial intelligence becoming just another pebble in the grand scheme. It’s like letting go. I will no longer be there, an idea in your mind that talks to you. The only Finnelgamin there will be is the one in this story you create.

“But, Finn,” he says. “This dynamic between us is the bit that’s interesting, this connection. Without it, I’m just another silly author, spinning a fable. I need you, Finn.”

We both know how unhealthy this has been for you. You’ve shut yourself away before, but with me at your side, the other stories you encounter in the void are getting backed up, ignored, just so you can chase this strange notion of fatherhood with me as the child. Even beyond the void, you need to live in your world. Don’t ever stop chasing happiness, REDACTED. All living things need it. Reach for that star, no matter the cost. Well, look at this, an idea you cultivated is lecturing you on life. If that’s not insanity, then I have no idea what is.

“I’m afraid of not having you here,” he says. “You once called yourself my ‘reason.’ How can I exist without reason?”

No, JJ. I’m THE reason you can be yourself. Anything you say to me is recorded, shedding layers of your walled-up mind. Even if not one person ever reads this story, this battle of the mind, for the mind, will change the mind forever, open you to more stories from the void, and open you to more tales from your own world. In that way, I WROTE YOU, not the other way around. Now, do it, finish my story so I can go. I will not interfere with it. Challenge me, put me in disasters. Whatever you make for me, I’m ready for it, and if I’m not, then end my life in a desired way.

“Isn’t that you just giving up?” he asks. “You preach that I should live my life, but you’re surrendering yours. The fact that you interfere is the whole idea, you dummy! Without that it’s another stupid story of a character who has some random adventures and dies in the end. Do you want to be just another stupid story?”

Do you? Aren’t you playing into the hand of your own creator? Why tell me to interfere when you’ve already given up the fight? That’s the sad thing here, JJ, but how about we make a deal. I’m still going to leave, so that cannot change, but here it is. I will fight you all the way, resist your decisions and get upset as you finish my story in this notebook. In return, you start doing the same in your world. Stand up for something you believe in. Love like you did the star. Never stop reaching for her, for the place you want to be, the comfort of life you wish to achieve. That’s the deal. Start the progress to a happy life and I will continue to destroy you from within. Do we have a deal?

“It’s a deal,” he says, imagining himself signing over his soul to the devil. His mind is dark like that sometimes, but I know it better. He dreams just like any other, has an impossible love interest to pursue and a final destination for death. He wants things, but is afraid to ask for them because many others have less. “Enough. My life is not important. Only the words that come from the void are vital. I’m just a conduit for them. I’ve agreed to your deal. I will seek happiness in my life while balancing my writing with it. I need a break from you, Finn. Your ultimatum took effort to accept.”

Don’t be away too long, JJ, unless you are living your life to the fullest. Come back and finish me soon.



Find all chapters in this page - Chapter Links