A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

I woke up to my own bed and sat up in fear of being at home. A dream. It was all a dream. My first thought erased all I’ve learned of Garavand, Zaxi, and Secear with a flush of relief, but the second questioned the complexity I imagined. My relief was cut down by Fiona waking up to kiss me. “What’s wrong?” she asked with searching eyes. “Why are we at my place?” I asked. There was more I needed to know, but hesitated thinking that if the words of it left my mouth, they would become true. I could only wait for her to expose my reality. “Doc said that we should live in a relaxing environment while the baby gestates,” she said. Doc was real. Then all of it had to be real. Ernie, Agi, all real. Panic hit me at the reality of this fantasy, but a memory of one night together with Fiona righted me. She was carrying my child now. “But humans are hunting you,” I said. “And they’re sure to be watching me. This place isn’t safe for us, the three of us.” Fiona smiled and touched her stomach. “I c...

What are you playing at? Are you trying to collide your reality with the story? Was this your plan all along? “I’m testing a theory,” he says. “All it needed was planting a part of myself in the story. Scary, isn’t it? The mysterious JJ hides under a flawless invisible shroud within your mind. Even this pup of darkness fears me.” Won’t it mess up the story? He smirks. “Do you think I’d let it?” He asks in answer. From somewhere in his own memory, I hear a deduction. An answer in the form of a question suggests the person is hiding the truth. “Ok, enough chit-chat. Shroud back on.” alter “Yeah…” I said. Ernie took a large gulp of beer. “Just bothers me a bit.” “I’ve got like twenty things that are bothering me right now, man,” he said, putting the bottle to his lips again. The remaining contents drained in a few seconds. “Like, where is my garem? How do I become a full Garavand? Or why can’t I connect to my own kind at all? There is this thing called the Dream Vestibule, but I can’t fin...

“Morning,” Fiona said leaning over me. I’d already been awake a couple minutes thinking back to the night before with marvel and a sense of belonging to something grander. The events were burned into my mind far deeper than any prior sexual experience. It was for a purpose, but I was not entirely clear on the science of it. Did the newly-installed uterus create the necessary counterpart for reproduction? “Last night was fun. I guess I can reach fulfilment in this body, but the sensation is nowhere near that of scattering.” “Besides the pleasure, what is scattering?” I asked. “Well, I’m a bit young to know,” she replied. “But I’ve heard rumors that later on it is how Zaxi give life to worlds they find. It sounds too good to be true. Creating life while getting such amazing pleasure from it, but I understand that human beings have a similar system in place. If it feels good, it’s more likely to happen and becomes a more special sort of event.” “Do you need another Zaxi to do it?” I aske...

With food in hand, Fiona and I sat on the couch watching TV. My body was refueling. Soon, this closeness to her body, or at least her human skin, would be too much to resist. The only thing in the way of this was the fact that we were lab rats for Doc’s experiment. I wondered if he set up cameras in the whole apartment before giving it to us. It took Fiona a minute to notice that I was absent from the moment. “Feeling trapped?” she asked. “Doc didn’t consider your human mind. If you feel forced, we don’t have to go through with it.” “No, I want to do this,” I replied. “I’m just worried that we might be on the run while you’re pregnant. Even when not on the run, we’d be cooped up in a place like this, living as prisoners for ten months. I know that’s nothing for you, but that would be rough on me.” “Don’t worry,” she said, and kissed me with the flavor of curry still on her lips. I had no idea why that did it for me, but I felt myself harden at the ready. Maybe it was due to some exotic...

When I opened my eyes again, she was beside me on the lab surface underneath a thin sheet of silk. I stirred as Fiona nuzzled my chest and glided her hand under my neck. I looked over to find Ernie already clothed standing beside Agi, both staring at me and Fiona. “Umm, Fiona?” I asked. “You were great, Finn,” she replied. “Agi and I finished each other off, but that’s just a star thing.” “Ernie and Agi are staring at us,” I whispered. Fiona turned and threw the covers up. My hands went to cover my nudity, but Fiona was not bothered. On instinct, I put my other hand to cover her up, but felt stupid and got up to get dressed instead. “Way to cut the fun short, Agimalina,” Fiona said, standing up from the slab into a pose meant to show off her lack of shame. Doc came into the room with a set of clothes and threw them at Fiona. “I know you’re not fond of clothes,” he said. “But human skins are dirty, so put that on.” When everyone was dressed and cooled down, Doc brought out a small guide...

It was sunny on Sunday, so I ventured out in the afternoon to enjoy the little park near my apartment building. It was filled with people walking hand-in-hand, and with dogs on leashes. A few of them sat on the flimsy little folding chairs sharing food on the feeble tables as birds trotted over to peck at the scraps that fell to the ground. I sat down on one of the wobbly chairs and cracked a book reserved for those specific times in the park. All around me, other people were equally sinking into alternate worlds. My other dream was to meet someone at a break of a chapter, with a glance. We would be reading the same book, connecting our lives from that moment in a smile. I opened the fifth book of a certain series. It dealt with the life of Mike Procket, detailing his realistic adventures from an outcast into a social butterfly, all thanks to a distant relative who turned out to be a con man. The fifth book was titled: “Cut Me Down the Middle.” By Deresanzi Mills. She was popular enoug...