A Self-Study Within A Broken Mind

The next day was a Saturday, and I decided to call Fiona . While dialing the number, a thought flickered out to the flame-haired secretary I collided with. With that in mind, my heart skipped a beat when Fiona’s voice chimed in. I felt ashamed for thinking of another while calling the “one”. “Hello?” she asked. My hand almost dropped the phone from the mental reset. “Hi, it’s Finn here,” I said. “We met at the park yesterday.” There was a pause. “Oh, yes,” she replied. “Thought you’d call last night.” “I waited just in case there was some tradition,” I said, trying to stop the words from coming out of my mouth. The world I knew put strange barriers in place for these sorts of things. “But then I thought that it’s Saturday, and it would be great if we could meet up again.” There was another pause on her side. “Can I ask you a forward question?” She asked. I nodded, only to realize I was on the phone. In my mind, she was right in front of me. “Go ahead,” I answered, trying to imagine wha...

We danced in the sun on a summer day, ignoring everybody else until Fiona ’s phone chimed an alarm. It was six in the evening and she had places to be, but we exchanged phone numbers. All the way back home, the impossible song we danced to reverberated inside my heart, responding to her flowery bright smiles and those hazel eyes inspiring joy. I didn’t often daydream, but it was good to feel this attraction again, new love. My past filled in with memories of youthful growth, from the first stolen kiss testing boundaries of friendship, to the first awkward exploration of sexuality. It was traditional in every respect, and in that sense, boring, until Fiona. She was a spell cast on me by what I believed to be an angel. This fantasy had drawbacks, as when lost in thought I walked right into someone rushing elsewhere at an incredible pace. It was a girl. We collided at a corner, sending our bags to the ground. They were not the same make, and did not get mixed up. That was a repeated twist...

You’ve made me wait, J. Your mind is an open book to me now, from the darkest secrets, to the hidden pleasures. If you hurt me, and I assume you are planning to, this collateral will soil your tale of life unlived. That is to say, thank you. He acts surprised. I’m telling you that you’ve tamed me for the time being. I will not try to destroy you, but take my voice, and I will find a way to take your life. I’m most thankful for the moment you gave me with Fiona . For this New Year, my resolution will be to spend more time with her. I know you think making resolutions is stupid, as many people end up breaking them within that first month, but I worry. My fear is for the lack of my story due to your poor health. That aggravated sigh does not distance you from my thoughts. I know all that is inside you, J, and I know you are trying to balance your demons with angels, but that is destroying you, in turn destroying me and any other story you have ever written, any tale you saw. I’m asking yo...

Here is your author yet again, at the rickety table, giving me a voice. He has a bottle of wine open and aims to consume it all this one night. It is a Friday, but like many of his kind, he shuts himself away to be with fictional beings, rather than connect to someone real. These are his thoughts channeled into me, Finn. I don’t want to talk about his depressing tales. I should be leading him to write me a story, but could it be any good while I know he’s the one writing it? That’s his question, not mine. If I could have one thing, separate minds would be ideal, or … who? Who is she? The image of a face flickers inside J’s mind. Why does he keep me away from there? Out of all the places he could choose, why there? Give me something to do, J! Let me visit that island with that girl and Jeremy again. I had such a fun time there. What was her name again? I have a strange inkling that it started with an F. No, J tells me it was Kara. She had a nice story, leaping between worlds. Why was I ...